By Loch Ness
A drunken hick thought he saw
A large and unusual animal
And he just stood in awe
One big fright
He thought he'd gone insane
Snapped some pics with a handycam
Just to satisfy his brain

Nessie the Elephant raised her trunk
And ended up in the tabloids
Pics they took, but were quickly debunked
"Junk, junk, junk"
Nessie the Elephant raised her trunk
But now she's gone into hiding
Pics they took, but were quickly debunked
"Junk, junk, junk"

Day by day
The media circus grew
But Nessie's the shy and retiring type,
She told the press "adieu"
No more pics
For Nessie had enough
She moved off to the Irish Sea
And she changed her name to Puff

Nessie the Elephant packed her trunk
For now she's out of the tabloids
Pics they took, but were quickly debunked
"Junk, junk, junk"
Nessie the Elephant raised her trunk
For now she's gone into hiding
Pics they took, but were quickly debunked
"Junk, junk, junk"

An army of tourist merchants
All made their way
North to the loch with some monster schlock
In the hope that mugs would pay

'cause Nessie the Elephant raised her trunk
And ended up in the tabloids
Pics they took, but were quickly debunked
"Junk, junk, junk"
Nessie the Elephant raised her trunk
But now she's gone into hiding
Pics they took, but were quickly debunked
"Junk, junk, junk"