Let's go to town and hit the stores
Dodge all the busied people there
Crowding 'round storefronts all down in the street
And they're cramped and starting to swear
The retail chains are full with all of those Christmas sales
But they don't look so great to all us males

Well you purchase things for people that you know
The stores have nothing though that would make a nice gift
Waiting in line really blows
But Eggnog could give me a lift
Oh If I was the one you chose for the gift exchange
Oh baby will I like your gift, will I like your gift?

Well this Christmas is white, in the retail chains
Silent night, silent nights, the songs proclaim
You leave me shopping now...

I've got no money but it's not too late
I could swipe a few things away
If I paid for them, I'd have to wait
I slip past the guards and the camera
I'm heading for the door, oh maybe I can get away free
I robbed the Shoe Carnival, now it's onward home I flee!

Well this Christmas is white, in the retail chains
Silent night, silent nights, the songs proclaim
Well I robbed one tongiht - oh, a retail chain
For these gifts, I did not pay - in a retail chain

Well this Christmas is white, in the retail chains
Silent night, silent nights, the songs proclaim
Well I robbed 'em all blind - oh, a retail chain
For these gifts, I did not pay - in a retail chain
I ganked a retial chain...those retail chains...