NORELCO (Parody of "Troubled Man"--track 31)
His wife had left him long ago
Stiff whiskers on his chin
He could not see them in the mirror
He drowned his woes in gin
He had shaving trouble
So he had to change his style
He bought himself a new Norelco
And now he's lookin' wild!

HUGGIES PULLUPS (Parody of "Loneliness"--track 33)
I hear a crying in the night
It is a kind of shame
Our toddler's getting toilet-trained
The bedding's getting stained
He's not meant for undies yet
And diapers? Say bye-bye!
He'll use the Pullups training pants
Tonight he will stay dry
Will stay dry

MOTRIN (Parody of "Nice Old Man"--track 34)
Please dear, enter softly
Please don't make a din
Migraine's got me in the head
I need an aspirin
Tell you what, my lover
Let your worries end
Why not try ibuprofen
Now packaged as Motrin?

TI-D-BOL (Parody of "The Talk of Creatures"--track 35)
Ti-D-Bol is on my mind
A new refreshing scent of pine
A contest now, we'll scrub two bowls
Look, Brand X has no control
Of mildew stains
You got that right!
We sing a song, everything's right
We have now cleaned our house commodes
And Ti-D-Bol, we thank you, loads!

COLGATE (Parody of "Fingertips"--track 36)
Keep your smile invigorating
And free from tooth decay
Brush twice daily with Colgate
And brush your cares away
You could also do some flossing
You can stand the pace
Come now, open up your outh
Let's see your smiley-face!

BASKIN-ROBINS (Parody of "Margaret Freeman"--track 38)
Baskin-Robins is so yummy
Red, white, and blue and green
Served in a cup or in a cone
We got so much ice cream
Sundaes and the shakes, delicious
Open up your jaw
All the flavors, 31 ways
To make your tongue guffaw!