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Song Parodies -> "The Residents Sell Out (Part 1)"

Original Song Title:

"The Commercial Album"

Original Performer:

The Residents

Parody Song Title:

"The Residents Sell Out (Part 1)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

In 1980, experimental band The Residents released The Commerical Album, an album of 40 songs, each 1 minute long. The premise was that pop songs were essentially commercials to sell a product, so by composing songs made of the purest elements (lacking chorus repetitions, guitar solos and etc.), a pop band could "sell" itself more efficiently. Sort of. The Residents even sold 40 minutes of airtime at a local radio station using the songs from the album (which was the best way they could get any radio airplay, due to their decidedly "uncommercial" style of music).So, I thought to myself, what if The Residents fell on hard times and decided to write actual commercials using the songs they intended as "commercials" ? 32 of the brief songs from this album (the ones which have lyrics) will be written in the next several days. The CD track number of each tune will be provided for the convenience of fans who own the album. I am having fun with one of my favorite bands of all time, and I hope non-fans will allow me this indulgence-and that fans of the band will not burn me in effigy.
PUREX (parody of "Easter Woman"--track 1)
Dum de dum, dum, dum, dum
Yesterday while doing laundry
I learned from my wife
Purex gets all the stains out
More than Fab or Tide

NESCAFE (parody of "Perfect Love"-track 2)
I really must compel you
Please heed what I now say
The only really perfect cup
Is brewed with Nescafe

BISQUICK (parody of "Picnic Boy"--track 3)
Go and get the Bisquick, boy
For pancakes soft and hot
Go and get the Bisquick, boy
They'll really hit the spot! Spot!
We always cook on Sunday morning
Joy can't be contained
It's so fun to pour and measure
Made from whole wheat grain!

OLIVE GARDEN (parody of "End of Home"--track 4)
Pasta at the Olive Garden
Try our pasta, mi cabron
Endless salad and hot breadsticks
Please don't try to bag it home
You'll love our ravioli dinner
Cheaper still than what it seems
Now we have extended hours
Bringing forth spaghetti dreams

LIFE (parody of "Amber"--track 5)
Life was once a magazine
And Life's also a game
Life is a cold cereal
That brought Mikey acclaim
Cinnamony, sugar sweet
They're brown and kind of thin
They stay crunchy for awhile
After the milk's poured in
Mikey would hate everything
Was what they used to say
Nice to know he's still alive
And eats Life to this day
Copyright 2004, Agrimorfee. More to come! The orginal lyrics for The Residents' 'Commercial Album' can be found at
The Residents' unofficial website

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment
i'm proud to say i own a copy of this album....nice job...5s
Rick D - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Agri, this is a brilliant idea. I have to say I'm not up on the Residents, but I'm going to get this album. I've always felt that I missed my calling by not being a commercial jingle writer. (You, too, I guess) I once had a discussion about laundry soap with my Ex. I asked her why she bothered to use a particular brand, because it said right on the box "Nothing cleans better!!"
Agrimorfee - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey all, those interested in the original album may be able to order it at just wait until October 2004, when it will be re-released (with an accompanying DVD!). Thanks for the praise, guys.
Adagio - November 15, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Strange!! From the samples, the pacing was 5, but I'm going to have to give you 4 on funny and overall.
Red Ant - November 16, 2005 - Report this comment
R05- I actually listened to the samples you provided (you could have done the same for my entry.....). I couldn't really get a good enough feel for the pacing but I'll trust you on that point since this is one of your favorite bands (as Alice in Chains is mine). I take it you also completed the whole album which is a major endeavor. Back to this, not lol funny but overall a 5. You should consider writing jingles for commercials as well as parodies, these are very good.
Agrimorfee - November 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Now you can read the original song lyrics at (ignore invalid link above).
Josh 2 - November 20, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC- DKTOS, sorta funny but im really confused 444
Stuart McArthur - November 24, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) - definite jingo-writing skills evident here, Agri - I've heard of The Residents but not of this stuff you mention - but their idea is fascinating - 555
Kristof Robertson - November 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Don't really know the Residents, I'll trust your pacing and say this was a boundary-pushing experiment; much like the Resident's original premise. Bravo! 555
Johnny D - November 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) "Bringing forth spaghetti dreams" wins you the Salvador Dali Award, Agri !
Mikey Squirrel - November 29, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC- DKTOS, but I do enjoy parodies that are also commercials! Especially when the last part (track 5) mentions me. Well that cereal kid Mikey anyways. Well done. 555
Sinister Regurgitator - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment
BRAVO!.. truly LMFAO'ed at work!

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