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Song Parodies -> "The KKK Tried To Build A Death Ray"

Original Song Title:

"The KKK Took My Baby Away"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Ramones

Parody Song Title:

"The KKK Tried To Build A Death Ray"

Parody Written by:

Hu's On First

The Lyrics

A very "Strangelove but true" story, in the news. An upstate New York KKK member named Glenn Crawford (who works as a technician for GE and is a member of a Tea Party group) attempted to build a radioactive "death ray" to use against enemies of Israel. Crawford hat at least one accomplice who is also in custody. The FBI found him out when he attempted to solicit support from a local synagogue. In addition, Crawford planned to target various political figures including the President.
He stayed at home for the holidays
Worked on something hid away
But it wasn't no good
It wasn't no good
It wasn't no good, they say

The KKK tried to build a death ray
To shoot some X-rays
At Israel's foes
The KKK tried to build a death ray
To shoot some X-rays
And why? Who knows!

Now off he goes to the synagogue now
Shows them his device
He shows 'em twice
To the Jewish charities now
Shows them his device
They think "not nice!"

Shooty shooty shooty
At the President
That's what Crawford said and meant
Shooty shooty shooty
All the Arabs now
And Baruch Goldstein would be so proud

Oy oy oy oy oy oy oy oy
Oy oy oy oy oy oy oy oy

He stayed at home for the holidays
Worked on something hid away
But the FBI found
The FBI nabbed
And now he's been locked away-ay

They found his science lab today
Found device he hid away
Now he's in the clink
And why did he think
That with it he'd get away

The KKK tried to build a death ray
To shoot some X-rays
A beam of doom
The KKK tried to build a death ray
To shoot some X-rays
And bring much gloom

The KKK tried to build a death ray
To shoot some X-rays
Hiroshima lite*
The KKK tried to build a death ray
To shoot some X-rays
A blinding sight

The KKK tried to build a death ray
To shoot some X-rays
At Israel's foes
The KKK tried to build a death ray
To shoot some X-rays
And why? Who knows!

The KKK tried to build a death ray
It's Strangelove but true
They tried to build a death ray
Read about it here *Crawford called his device "Hiroshima on a light switch"

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Rob Arndt - June 20, 2013 - Report this comment
Excellent- 555! In the Oslo Letter one of the weapons mentioned that Germany was developing was a death ray. Near the end of the war at Jonastal S.III a strange gun was mounted in Bunker #2 that fired EM Waves at approaching aircraft. Since there were up to 20,000 workers, scientists, and SS at the site, it was a target. And yet after over 50 attempts at recon and bombing, it was never hit and only photographed from the ground after capture. The weapon used there is described in the official US Document German Capabilities for 1945, written in late 1944. It mentions an EM Wave cannon. More amazing is that both the Germans and Japanese had microwave weapons. The captain of a German U-Boat had seen one at a facility being shown to a Japanese delegation in April 1945 and later learned that they had truck-mounted versions for the anticipated home islands invasion that never came. Postwar, based on German laser research in WW2 by Siemens and I.G. Farben, the USSR made great strides in large lasers but never managed to compact them down to battlefield size. The US has several versions for land and aerial use and shares tech with Israel for use against missiles. The Chinese came up with laser blinders for tanks and the French helped pioneer dazzlers for tanks. Police in many nations use dazzlers on their guns to disorientate prisoners and criminals. The US Army has a prototype laser blinding gun and microwave heat weapons were supposedly tested in both US Gulf Wars. The Italians were the first in Somalia to use blinding lasers against mobs. So this tech is evolving. Anyone with a HP microwave oven can remove the door and modify it to harm your neighbors at short distances (although you would have to convert a wall of them stacked and keep them running on high for days and weeks to make your neighbors very sick). We got that from the Soviets that tried to sicken the US Embassy staff with one. Some say that some of the mysterious Gulf War Syndrome was not due to burning depleted uranium rounds that hit MBTs & AFVs, but long-range use of microwave weapons "accidentally" aimed at our own troops. Begs the question of more secret use of mystery weapons on our own guinea pigs for free? US has already done nuke, bio, chem, and drug tests... so it wouldn't surprise me a bit.
Patrick - June 20, 2013 - Report this comment
Got an ad the other day for a 1MW hand-held laser that reportedly can burn through wood, light cigars and firecracker fuses. Less than $200. Sounds like it would be better than a handgun, if it worked quickly enough. Focused sound wave generators used to protect ships passing near the Somali coast from pirate attacks.
Patrick - June 26, 2013 - Report this comment
I remember when the KKK was far more rabid in its hatred of Jews and Catholics than it ever was in its hatred of Blacks. I wonder what changed.

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