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Song Parodies -> "Every Breast That's Saved"

Original Song Title:

"Every Breath You Take"

Original Performer:

The Police

Parody Song Title:

"Every Breast That's Saved"

Parody Written by:

Lionel Mertens

The Lyrics

After living with a breast cancer survivor, I have a whole new perspective on breast cancer. I used to think immaturely, that it was great to save womens breasts (which it is), but it's more than that. It's about saving lives not just breasts. It's still is important to make your significant other still feel sexy though. I made my girlfriend still feel attractive (which she ways) by offering unlimited back and chest massages to try and ease the pain of losing one of her sister's (what man wouldn't go for that). But what I've learned is that women's breasts are very close to their hearts in more ways than one. So this is dedicated to all the people that are affected and are fighting breast cancer.
Every breast that's saved
Every knife that's braved
Every test that raves
Every chest concave
I'm applauding you

Every patient stay
Every chest X-ray
Every doc you pay
Every night you pray
I'm applauding you

Oh, men conceive
Women's lives are thieved
How my poor heart aches
With every life it takes

Every pic you take*
Every risk you stake
Every doubt you shake
I'm applauding you

Since you've been sick you've stayed strong with a happy face
I'ved joined your fight I wish only to help your case
I joke around but it's you I can't replace
I feel so old and I long for your embrace
So keep fighting baby, baby, please

Oh, cancer thieves
women long to cleave
How my poor heart aches
With every life it takes

Every probe that snakes
Every ouch! you make
Every trial you take
Every day you wake
I'm applauding you

Every mile you race
Every step you place
I'm applauding you

I'm applauding you

* mammograms every year after 50 ladies

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   6

User Comments

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Kristof Robertson - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
I applaud YOU, Lionel.....for writing such a moving and heartfelt parody. Great job! 555
martha - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
I second that thought ... I appreciate this one.. lifts the spirits to see a lyric that is not dwelling on breast enhancement and all that .....
Red Ant - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Quite profound Lionel. 555.
Johnny D - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow. God bless you, Lionel. 5s from me.
Lurker - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Why has there been an explosion in breast cancer since 1960? Two main reasons: abortion and hormonal contraception (e.g., "the Pill," injections, etc.). Yes, some women who have nothing to do with either of those two things still develop breast cancer. However, the risk of developing the disease is FAR higher among those who engage in either of those two risky behaviors (unnaturally ending pregnancy or taking powerful artificial drugs into a healthy body to screw up a working fertility cycle). Dear ladies, stop killing/maiming yourselves! If you doubt my claim, read the following and do lots more reading besides:
Lurker - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
I forgot to explain why I mentioned "1960." First, "the Pill" came on the market around 1960 and gradually gained in popularity during its first decade -- regrettably causing the 1965-1975 "sexual revolution," "women's liberation," a huge hike in divorce, and other catastrophic events in the history of civilized society. Second, the murder of innocent, defenseless babies (known as "abortion") gradually was decriminalized in "developed" (i.e., formerly civilized) nations between 1967 and 1980. Man sometimes forgives, but Nature never forgives. You mess with Mother Nature (whether via bulemia, contraceptives, excess sugar, abortion, etc.), and you cause or hasten your own death.
Adagio - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you, Lionel...very heartfelt. 5's
Lionel Mertens - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow! Thanks.
Ignoranus - September 23, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm just here to hang out with my brothers Lurker and the_game_lame. Hey dudes! WHAZZUUUUP!

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