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Song Parodies -> "Rapture Round the Corner"

Original Song Title:

"Wrapped Around Your Finger"

Original Performer:

The Police

Parody Song Title:

"Rapture Round the Corner"

Parody Written by:

Wendy Christopher

The Lyrics

I thought I'd missed the boat for some Camping-bashing, but... no! Since he's such a shy and retiring guy, who's simply too embarrassed to admit that he got it all wrong, I thought I'd help him out with his PR. And this OS from The Police was a gift :^)
Junked your stuff and all your money’s spent now
May the twenty-first just came and went now
I know my bad maths has caused some friction
But now I’ve updated my prediction

Here’s my latest scoop straight up and sober
You will get your Doomsday in October
You’re still here it means you got a ‘no’*
Still at least you get to watch the show

There’ll be Rapture round the corner
Trust me, Rapture’s round the corner

Now you’re doomed I know you must be hurt
So why don’t you buy my cool T-shirt?
Tell the world God dumped you ‘cause you’re naughty
It’s a steal at twenty dollars forty**

There’ll be Rapture round the corner
You’ll see, Rapture’s round the corner

Five months time is now when we’ll be dying
Technic’lly that means I wasn’t lying
God has just abandoned the unwary
You and – oh, me too – aw crap, that’s scary….!

Ohhhh save me – Rapture’s round the corner!
There’ll be Rapture round the corner!
Can’t flee, Rapture’s round the corner!
*That's the new, updated version of the prophecy; all the Chosen Ones DID get 'beamed up' on May 21st, it's just that no-one anywhere saw it happen, or knew any of the the lucky winners well enough to wonder where they'd suddenly disappeared to. So if you ARE still here, you weren't 'chosen' after all - and are therefore screwed along with the rest of us. Welcome to the club!
**You couldn't make it up.... at this website the message appears to be: "Okay, so you didn't get beamed up to Heaven, which means you have five months left to die horribly and pointlessly but - hey! It's not all bad! You can buy one of our T-shirts to commemorate your bad fortune! Stocks are limited (they'll probably run out in.... oooh, about five months time... ) so get 'em now! They're a real piece of history (well, for the next five months they will be anyway...") See.... who says those religious folks don't care about you...!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Rob Arndt - May 30, 2011 - Report this comment
Better LATE than never (pun intended)!!! 555!!!
WarrenB - May 31, 2011 - Report this comment
One of my faves of the day. And I really liked how you fit in the merchandising ties...or were they shirts?! Very singable to the original.
Hammerhead - June 01, 2011 - Report this comment
Very well done Wendy, 555!!!

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