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Song Parodies -> "88 Lines about 44 Justices"

Original Song Title:

"88 Lines about 44 Women"

Original Performer:

The Nails

Parody Song Title:

"88 Lines about 44 Justices"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Just the last 44, because getting the 44 most notable would be a task in itself and hard to be objective.
Kavanaugh drank too much beer
He always liked to party on
Gorsuch had a stolen seat
Because of him, that Merrick's gone
Kagan was a cutie
Brought frozen yogurt there just like that
Sotomayor swung left
People thought she was kinda fat

Alito was Scalia's clone
He still brings on his memory
Roberts knew just what to say
When swingin' 'round like Kennedy
Breyer had a special way
Of making the court get along
RBG, who wore jabots,
To feminists could do no wrong

Thomas was originalist
In arguments he never spoke
Souter found the Court no fun
And didn't care if he was broke
Kennedy was the swing vote
He retired to bring Kavanaugh
Scalia was a textualist
Left the Federalists in awe

Rehnquist led the Rehnquist Court
His robe he chose to decorate
O'Connor, first girl on the bench
She came along a bit too late
Stevens had a lot to write
Made David Souter want some more
Powell didn't do so great
Though he was from the Nixon Four

Blackmun, a conservative
He still would author Roe v. Wade
Burger would agree with him
And not just as a game he played
Marshall had a liberal bent
Though his retirement wasn't wise
Fortas wanted to be chief
Until his nomination died

Well, Goldberg, placed there by JFK,
Resigned for the Fortas bid
White, before he reached the court,
You won't believe what Whizzer did!
Stewart had devised a test
When you see it, then you know
Whittaker, he just served five years
It was so quick that he would go!

Uh-huh, not Whittaker

Brennan thought the Court was simple
Legislating from the bench
Harlan would not vote for POTUS
Interest conflicts made him blench
Warren was the perfect justice
Always made the rulings great
Minton was a weaker justice
To retire he just couldn't wait

Clark was forcibly resigned when
LBJ put Marshall on
Vinson was a chief less liked
Than Warren or those who had gone
Harold Burton liked to rule
Based on some technicality
Rutledge liked court-packing
And he was confirmed in '43

Well, Jackson had a fine tribunal
From Korematsu he'd dissent
Stone was a rock-solid justice
Yes, that pun was always meant
Murphy thought with liberal rulings
Many people think he's gay
Douglas, longest-serving justice,
Would support him any day

Frankfurter's name may be silly
But the justice, he is not
Reed was there to pack the court
Law degree's not what he's got
Black had an ironic name
With the group he was in
Cardozo's group it was better
The Musketeers were ones to win

Roberts (there's another one)
Was also one to try and swing
Hughes was with him on that fact
A Chief Justice of who I sing
Sanford came from Tennessee
He's against an anarchist
Pierce Butler, conservative,
One horseman to end this list

88 lines about 44 justices

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