Snow White was a Catholic girl, and seven dwarves all tried and failed.
Smurfette was a different type; it's she who Handy's hammer nailed.
Foxxy Love's a black girl, and Hero was hot for a girl like that.
Daphne solved some mysteries thinking hard while on Freddy's lap.

Lady really was a tramp, and flirted like a bitch in heat.
Gloria was a fetishist; she longed for Mumble's happy feet.
Olive Oyl just loved the way that Popeye ate her spinach pie.
Princess Jasmine couldn't cook; rode a carpet with her guy.

Nala was a lioness, and she, with pride, made Simba's son.
Pearl took Spongebob to the prom, but made him keep his square pants on.
Cinderella, charming girl who always kept her household clean.
Wonder Woman had a jet, often heard but never seen.

Marge Simpson was the only girl whose blue hair stuck in Homer's teeth.
Miss Garrison's an ugly girl, but just a gay guy underneath.
Patty always had good taste, and tasted much like Peppermint.
Peggy Hill, whose taste was bad, sewed clothing out of dryer lint.

Minnie Mouse, who cut the cheese, was brought down by an evil trap.
Betty Boop, when she performed, would take her bow and get the clap.
Misty, who trained Pokemon, had fun with Ash and Pikachu.
Trixie came with Racer X, who left too fast to say adieu.

Well, Wilma had a vacuum cleaner; nearly killed it from fatigue.
Betty Rubble's strange proposal tantalized Fred's bowling league.
Kanga thought her life was boring, till she learned to play with Pooh.
Velma got turned down by Scooby, which left her with no one to Doo.

(Uh-uh, not Shaggy!)

Princess Belle was just delighted; she liked guys with hairy backs.
Kyle's mom, who Cartman hated, really needed to relax.
Josie was a pussycat, but quite a tiger late at night.
Dee Dee broke in Dexter's lab and found that doggie style's alright.

Judy Jetson's always screaming "Eep, Op, Ork Ah-Ah!" in bed.
Supergirl, by accident, would squeeze her lovers till they're dead.
Jayna, curvy Wonder Twin, could fly while transformed to a bird.
Mrs. Hankey, howdy ho, three kids and married to a turd.

Ariel, King Triton's daughter, was one terrific piece of tail.
Jane grabbed poor George Jetson's wallet every morning without fail.
Toot was drawn to lunch buffets and sometimes eating Spanky Ham.
Laura Carrot told perverted veggie tales from Amsterdam.

Edna taught the Simpson kids, and dated Skinner on the sly.
Sandy Cheeks, karate squirrel, was selfish with her nut supply.
Lucy picked on Charlie Brown; was just a grouchy kid.
Lois Griffin's great in bed. Who said so? Quagmire did.

Slappy Squirrel, that mean old hag, beat younger people with her purse.
Mrs. Spacely gained more weight and spawned a baby universe.
Wanda put out like a ho, fulfilling Timmy's secret wish.
Sleeping Beauty, here's a kiss, I woke you to end this list.

Eighty-eight lines about forty-four cartoon females.