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Song Parodies -> "88 Lines About 44 Cartoon Females"

Original Song Title:

"88 Lines About 44 Women"

Original Performer:

The Nails

Parody Song Title:

"88 Lines About 44 Cartoon Females"

Parody Written by:

Chris Frederick

The Lyrics

Snow White was a Catholic girl, and seven dwarves all tried and failed.
Smurfette was a different type; it's she who Handy's hammer nailed.
Foxxy Love's a black girl, and Hero was hot for a girl like that.
Daphne solved some mysteries thinking hard while on Freddy's lap.

Lady really was a tramp, and flirted like a bitch in heat.
Gloria was a fetishist; she longed for Mumble's happy feet.
Olive Oyl just loved the way that Popeye ate her spinach pie.
Princess Jasmine couldn't cook; rode a carpet with her guy.

Nala was a lioness, and she, with pride, made Simba's son.
Pearl took Spongebob to the prom, but made him keep his square pants on.
Cinderella, charming girl who always kept her household clean.
Wonder Woman had a jet, often heard but never seen.

Marge Simpson was the only girl whose blue hair stuck in Homer's teeth.
Miss Garrison's an ugly girl, but just a gay guy underneath.
Patty always had good taste, and tasted much like Peppermint.
Peggy Hill, whose taste was bad, sewed clothing out of dryer lint.

Minnie Mouse, who cut the cheese, was brought down by an evil trap.
Betty Boop, when she performed, would take her bow and get the clap.
Misty, who trained Pokemon, had fun with Ash and Pikachu.
Trixie came with Racer X, who left too fast to say adieu.

Well, Wilma had a vacuum cleaner; nearly killed it from fatigue.
Betty Rubble's strange proposal tantalized Fred's bowling league.
Kanga thought her life was boring, till she learned to play with Pooh.
Velma got turned down by Scooby, which left her with no one to Doo.

(Uh-uh, not Shaggy!)

Princess Belle was just delighted; she liked guys with hairy backs.
Kyle's mom, who Cartman hated, really needed to relax.
Josie was a pussycat, but quite a tiger late at night.
Dee Dee broke in Dexter's lab and found that doggie style's alright.

Judy Jetson's always screaming "Eep, Op, Ork Ah-Ah!" in bed.
Supergirl, by accident, would squeeze her lovers till they're dead.
Jayna, curvy Wonder Twin, could fly while transformed to a bird.
Mrs. Hankey, howdy ho, three kids and married to a turd.

Ariel, King Triton's daughter, was one terrific piece of tail.
Jane grabbed poor George Jetson's wallet every morning without fail.
Toot was drawn to lunch buffets and sometimes eating Spanky Ham.
Laura Carrot told perverted veggie tales from Amsterdam.

Edna taught the Simpson kids, and dated Skinner on the sly.
Sandy Cheeks, karate squirrel, was selfish with her nut supply.
Lucy picked on Charlie Brown; was just a grouchy kid.
Lois Griffin's great in bed. Who said so? Quagmire did.

Slappy Squirrel, that mean old hag, beat younger people with her purse.
Mrs. Spacely gained more weight and spawned a baby universe.
Wanda put out like a ho, fulfilling Timmy's secret wish.
Sleeping Beauty, here's a kiss, I woke you to end this list.

Eighty-eight lines about forty-four cartoon females.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 31

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 1
 
 2   1
 1
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 5   30
 30
 30
 

User Comments

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Yoidy - March 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Great job! This is a fun read with a lot of great lines, though I was looking for one about Kim Possible! 555+ for you!
alvin - March 22, 2007 - Report this comment
whistles...great job...you really did your homework
Agrimorfee - March 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Wow! The scary thing is, you could probably do 88 more and not lose the mojo.
Matthias - March 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Brilliant, Do you mind if I use this kind of idea in a "We Didn't Start The Fire" type of parody. I'll call it, "They Didn't Lay Quagmire" and contain a bunch of cartoon girls..... Is that cool?
Chris Frederick - March 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Matthias, sounds like a fine idea. Please feel free to write something like that (if you can find enough girls that didn't lay Quagmire to fill a song. :)
Kristof Robertson - March 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Chris: you may have possibly written my favourite parody of the year so far. This is STUPENDOUS!! i didn't get every single reference, but the ones I did get made me howl! My favourite couplet was
"Kanga thought her life was boring, till she learned to play with Pooh.
Velma got turned down by Scooby, which left her with no one to Doo."
but there were TMGLTM. BRAVO! 555+++++
Peregrin - March 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Fantastic ! Merry and I have parodied that song and I can attest to how hard it is! Loved the "Judy Jetson's always screaming "Eep, Op, Ork Ah-Ah!" in bed" line :)
Red Ant - March 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Holy cow! That is beyond excellent, Chris. Too many great puns to mention them all, but "..take her bow and get the clap" and "Laura Carrot told perverted veggie tales from Amsterdam" had to be my favorites. 555++
Darrell Wilhelm - March 23, 2007 - Report this comment
What about Luanne? How could you have forgotten her!
Hollajuku - March 23, 2007 - Report this comment
I thought it was clever.
wannabemustangjockey - April 09, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Great parody of a very difficult OS! I love it!
Agrimorfee - April 09, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) ditto what I said before.
Claude Prez - April 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Me too; this is great
Max Power - April 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Great one there.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 13, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - I'm with Kristof, this one is really, really great with TMGLTM! :-)
The Charnstar - April 14, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - SOTM has never been so hard, this rules, as does Kristofs... GLAH! So hard, 5-5-5
Johnny D - April 24, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Thank heaven ... for written girls!
bobpiecheese - April 25, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Great work, Chris! This OS is quite a doozy, though I can't speak from experience.
Jason - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Excellent piece of writing there.
Michael McVey - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Good mix of cartoon characters old and new. I can tell you've watched a lot of them.
stuart mcarthur - April 28, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) wow! the best thing is the bent information you manage to reveal about them all - for instance it never occurred to me that ALL Marge Simpson's hair might be blue, which is just TMI - I DID not know that - great stuff Chris - 555
Kristof Robertson - April 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above. Still right up near the top of my league table. Wonderful.
Mikey Squirrel - April 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I have to really respect someone who really knows their cartoons. I like you had two squirrels in there, but where's Babs Bunny? Really good stuff, Chris.
Below Average Dave - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I don't generally get into List parodies. . .I have confessed that in the past. . .however this one was a NOTICEABLE exception. . .excellent my friend, excellent
Wolverine - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Excellent, ditto with everyone else. Along with the "where's so-and-so" questions, I'm surprised Jessica Rabbit playing patty-cake isn't mentioned. ;-) "I'm not bad, I'm just parodied that way"
Jack Wilson - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
The Miss garrison line alone is wortjh the 5s for this! Awesome job!
Tim Mayfield - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Yeah, like was mentioned above, quite the trivia collection here. If you're not up on the toons, you're left in the dark.
Jeff Reuben - March 10, 2008 - Report this comment
As a cartoon lover, I absolutely loved this. Awesome job here.
enero - March 12, 2008 - Report this comment
dude, this parody is better than the original song! excellent job bro!
littleCartoonCakes - March 12, 2008 - Report this comment
555 Sir Frederick, ~Duke o'Khartoon~ This is really fine! It mentions all the cartoon lady characters that we've grown to know. Loved the Ariel reference to her "tail" ! I see you like your "redHeads" !!
Matthias - March 23, 2008 - Report this comment
As a connoisseur of cartoons, I got every reference listed here, and I thought that this parody was not only hilarious, but well thought out, and extremely brilliant. Great puns, and a great use of popular culture.
Red Ant - March 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Could have swore I already commented on this one... I know I've read it before. Almost every line was a Jem (you missed her =)); very funny work.
McKludge - March 30, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTY - I think I've watched 90% of those cartoons.
Invisible Boy - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
The construction of this is incredible. 11x4x2=88 great ideas about perfect writing.

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