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Song Parodies -> "When Everybody knows You're lame (baseball)"

Original Song Title:

"Where Everybody Knows Your Name"

Original Performer:

Theme Song (Cheers)

Parody Song Title:

"When Everybody knows You're lame (baseball)"

Parody Written by:

Doug Baseball

The Lyrics

I added "baseball" to differentiate, since there is another parody with a similar title. I wrote this back in 2000 or so, and if this is the last I post here(which it might be) thanks to all for reading. If I were back at college I'd probably be on here a lot, but I'm not :-)
When Everybody Knows You’re Lame (baseball)

Winnin’ a lot in this game today sure takes lots of luck.
Some teams have great farm systems, some spend lots of bucks.
And some just cannot seem to play.

Your ace fell out of bed
And his arm went dead
And you always start a stiff.
And your outfield has no power
And all they do is whiff.
And your fans all where bags on their heads.

You get three men on base
And you hide your face
‘cause they’re all on the same one.
And your best runner needs a road map
To score on a home run.
And by May your pennant hopes are dead.

At least there’s one place you can head
When everybody knows you’re lame.
But they cheer you just the same.
Your style of play makes people say
“Can’t anyone play this game?”
That’s how it is when everybody knows you’re lame.

You just gave up no hits
And you lost four-zip
You think fans are gonna sue.
And your man at third base
Tries to field balls with his shoe
And your shortstop could not catch a cold.

You’d trade your catcher now
For a herd of cows
But the other clubs say “no.”
And when people see your bullpen
All they do is groan.
And your owner requests a blindfold.

At least the losing won’t get old
When everybody knows you’re lame.
But they cheer you just the same.
Your style of play makes people say
“Can’t anyone play this game?”
That’s how it is when everybody knows you’re lame.

When everybody knows you’re lame.
But they cheer you just the same.
Your style of play makes people say
“Can’t anyone play this game?”
That’s how it is when everybody knows you’re lame.
Amazing thing is, some of this stuff actually happened, like the 3 men on the same base (Brooklyn, I thik 1926), a 4-0 loss on a no-hitter (1990, Andy Hawkins), etc.

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User Comments

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alvin - March 15, 2008 - Report this comment
hilarious
Stan Hall - March 16, 2008 - Report this comment
A fun nightmare. Especially liked the lines "You get three men on base / And you hide your face / ‘cause they’re all on the same one" as a reminder of teh horrific/laughable plunge in Orioles baserunning smarts during the brief stint during Ripkin' Sr.'s managerial turn when Jimmy Williams moved from the 1st base coaching box to the one by the hot corner. Can't recall another time so densely packed with outs or lost runs due to baserunning idiocy. :-)

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