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Song Parodies -> "IS-3"

Original Song Title:

"ABC"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Jackson 5

Parody Song Title:

"IS-3"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

This is a tough song to parody, so I simplified it by removing all the speakers of the Jackson 5 and their individual parts. Some of the Russian words do not rhyme either. Malyshka means "baby" and Palhalusta means "please". The IS-3 tank was the last of the WW2 series of IS tanks which began with the IS-1 in 1943 and was further developed into the IS-2 with 122mm gun and then the redesigned IS-3 with sloping armor. This was the enemy of the German King Tiger or Tiger II. But it never made it into combat even with 1 unit sent to Germany. It was flawed with a bad engine, transmission, engine mounts and suffered from gun shock, excessive vibration, and hull cracks in the armor. It carried only 28 rounds compared to the King Tiger's 72. The Tiger II was 69 tons vs 45 tons for the IS-3, so the IS-2 was faster at 25 mph. Armor up front was equal but the Tiger II was better all-around. As it were, no Russian tank ever pierced a King Tiger from the frontal aspect during WW2. The IS-3 did, however, get the bugs worked-out by 1948 and served a long time...
Vodka, Vodka, Vodka!
Vodka, Vodka, Vodka!

[Celebrating]

You went to war to fight evil
The Great Patriotic War...

To lead Stalin‘s Red Army infantry...
To fight the German Panzers
POW!, POW! POW! Ain’t gonna breach you...
Breach you, breach you

Armor is tough, hear (me)...
Armor is tough

Put the hatch down, Gunner’s seat
German tank hit by 122 (mm) will be beat

CHORUS:
IS-3
Early as...
‘43
Redesign with...
New body
IS-3, ‘43, off to- Germany!
IS-3
Early as...
‘43
Redesign with...
New body
IS-3, ‘43, off to- Germany!

Move on, let me break it with a direct hit!
Move on, let me break it with a direct hit!
Tiger II and IS-3 will slug it out!
Move on, move one, move on
Tiger II, gonna destroy its clout!

At just 45 tons this tank is quick
While Tiger II is slow as can be!

Fight the Tiger II, battle of steel vs steel!

Tiger II is hard to defeat
B-B-B But this tank is brand new

Blow you, blow you (up, up)!!!

Must not get away!

Nyet, nyet, nyet, nyet, nyet, nyet!

Destroy you
Tiger II!
For Stalin’s Motherland, that's all we gotta do!

IS-3
Early as...
‘43
Redesign with...
New body
IS-3, ‘43, off to- Germany!
IS-3
Early as...
‘43
Redesign with...
New body
IS-3, ‘43, off to- Germany!

BRIDGE:
Steel vs. steel!
Gonna destroy you!
Nyet!
It‘s not true!
Engine failure- we‘re through!

Make it, make it, malyshka, come on now!
Make it, make it, malyshka, Moooove!
Make it, make it, malyshka, pazhalusta!
IS-3, malyshka, Moooove!
IS-3, malyshka, nyet, nyet!
A pity, maybe stuck
Never made it to Germany!

IS-3
IS-3, number 3

Early as’43
Redesign with new body
Against Nazi Germany
IS-1, 2, and then 3
Must kill hated enemy!
http://www.communisme-bolchevisme.net/images/war_soviet_IS3_tank.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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 3   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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Snowbird - August 29, 2011 - Report this comment
Your pacing is off, but your information is interesting. The IS-3 was the Pike tank and was in the Septemeber 1945 celebrations in Berlin. I personally think it was better than the Royal Tiger. Yup!
Rob Arndt - August 29, 2011 - Report this comment
Hate to disagree, but no. The King Tiger actually saw combat in both fronts and blasted Soviet armor all the way up to IS-2. It's gun tended to outrange the Soviets and any Soviet victories had to close to around 1000-1500 m. A King Tiger could kill at 4000 m!!! And the 122mm was nothing compared to the Jagdtiger's 128mm. Both the Tiger I and IIs took an immense toll of Soviet and Allied armor but were deluged and out of ammo and gas. Most Tigers IIs were found abandoned by April/May 1945...

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