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Song Parodies -> "We Built This Country (On COBOL Code)"

Original Song Title:

"We Built This City (On Rock and Roll)"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Starship

Parody Song Title:

"We Built This Country (On COBOL Code)"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

"legacy programs" are old computer programs written long ago that are still running and working to the present day. Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper is known as "The Mother of COBOL", and she is one of the most important people in the history of computers. "three-two-seven-oh" refers to the old IBM "3270" computer terminals which were cathode-ray tubes with a "green-screen" character-interface.
We built this country
We built this country on COBOL code
Built this country
We built this country on COBOL code

Got an ATM card?
Or taken out a loan?
If you've ever spent a dime,
Fixing up your home -
Know our nation's banking,
Makes our money flow,
Through legacy programs,
Written long ago.

Grace Hopper's COBOL's Mama -
and her genius clearly showed!
Don't you remember
We built this country
We built this country on COBOL code

We built this country
We built this country on COBOL code
Built this country
We built this country on COBOL code

Someone's always playing,
Software language games -
Who cares, they're always changing,
Software language names.
We want to remember,
When we typed in green,
On those-old three-two-seven-oh
IBM machines!

Grace Hopper's COBOL's Mama -
and her genius clearly showed!
Don't you remember
We built this country
We built this country on COBOL code

We built this country
We built this country on COBOL code
Built this country
We built this country on COBOL code

It's just another workday,
In front of my PC -
Bill Gates has got the choke hold, oh!
And Windows rules the screen.

Who counts the money,
Inside the machine?
Terabytes of COBOL -
Not them Java Beans!

Don't forget - you need us!
We're not just simple fools!
No one in America,
Learns COBOL in schools!

("I'm looking out over our company's data processing infrastructure - hey - there's at least six hundred million lines of something called "COBOL" in there - get me some consultants, fast!!")

Don't you remember (remember)

("Mr. President, we can't afford to dump all this COBOL overnight - it's our country's favorite old computer language that keeps your favorite corporations pumping out your favorite tax dollars and your favorite campaign contributions!!")

Grace Hopper's COBOL's Mama -
and her genius clearly showed!
Don't you remember
We built this country
We built this country on COBOL code

We built this country
We built this country on COBOL code
Built this country
We built this country on COBOL code

We built this country
We built this country on COBOL code
Built this country
We built this country on COBOL code

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   3
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User Comments

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Tim Hall - October 24, 2003 - Report this comment
Nice piece of historical research.
Adagio - October 24, 2003 - Report this comment
I really liked it!
neminem - October 24, 2003 - Report this comment
Nice. We need more geek-centric parodies like these ;-).
Johnny D - October 24, 2003 - Report this comment
Yes, neminem, I agree - let's hear it for "our people" !
Claude Prez - October 24, 2003 - Report this comment
Slick
Wild Man - October 24, 2003 - Report this comment
Nice work, Johnny.
neminem - October 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Speaking of which (I figure you'll be more likely to see this on your own comments than on mine) if you haven't already noticed, I've written several other parodies about Mudd life that should remind you equally of life at MIT, being a similar school; just thought I'd let you know.
Johnny D - November 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks Claude and Wild Man. And neminem, I especially liked your "calculus" parody!
Leah Lockhart - December 16, 2003 - Report this comment
OK, you totally geeked out on this one. I had no idea what COBOL is (was?) But as a fellow dork who loves weather patterns and the mystery of mathematics, I can honestly say, you rock.
Johnny D - December 17, 2003 - Report this comment
Thank you, Leah!
Arwen - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Once again, Johnny...you've made me feel totally clueless...(i took one programming class in college and almost choked myself. pascal, i think it was), and yet made me laugh all at the same time. Well Done!! 5s!
Johnny D - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Arwen!
Mark Thompson - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
I really enjoyed this one. I did program up until '97. I'd been touting the importance of 4 digit years ever since COBOL II didn't address it. So I sidestepped the Y2K rush for a few years by programming on Windows based platforms. Now I'm still doing that, but the siren call of COBOL is back! "Integration of platforms" really means tapping back into that old COBOL. Amazing how quickly it comes back. Thanks again.

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