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Song Parodies -> "We Built This Nation (On Catholic Guilt)"

Original Song Title:

"We Built This City (On Rock and Roll)"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Starship

Parody Song Title:

"We Built This Nation (On Catholic Guilt)"

Parody Written by:

Tim Hall

The Lyrics

We Built This Nation, we built This Nation on Catholic Guilt
Built this nation, we built this nation on Catholic Guilt

Catholicism, focuses on abuse
The nuns at school don't care if it seems obtuse
Waist deep teaching kids fear, bringing down their might
Impressionable minds soaking up the fright

St. Peter plays the big harp, listen to the sacrement, don't you remember
We built this nation, we built this nation on Catholic Guilt

We Built This Nation, we built This Nation on Catholic Guilt
Built this nation, we built this nation on Catholic Guilt

We Built This Nation, we built This Nation on Catholic Guilt
Built this nation, we built this nation on Catholic Guilt

Priests are always playing molestation games
Children repressing memories and naming no names
The vows of celibacy, they stole their innocense
We built this nation, we built this nation on Catholic Guilt

St. Peter plays the big harp, listen to the sacrement, don't you remember
We built this nation, we built this nation on Catholic Guilt

We Built This Nation, we built This Nation on Catholic Guilt
Built this nation, we built this nation on Catholic Guilt

We Built This Nation, we built This Nation on Catholic Guilt
Built this nation, we built this nation on Catholic Guilt

It's just another Sunday, in a run-down old church
Priests know the confessions, oh, and we feel so dirty

Vows of poverty celibacy
Does it assure you will go to heaven
After all this torture, and the baptism dread
They get so psychotic, eat communion bread

(I'm looking out over that Golden Gate bridge
Out on a gorgeous sunny Sunday, I've seen a low amount of clouds)

Don't you remember (remember)

(Here's your favorite pedophile father, now taken into custody
He has admitted to molesting young children for over two decades)

St. Peter plays the big harp, listen to the sacrement, don't you remember
We built this nation, we built this nation on Catholic Guilt

We Built This Nation, we built This Nation on Catholic Guilt
Built this nation, we built this nation on Catholic Guilt

We Built This Nation, we built This Nation on Catholic Guilt
Built this nation, we built this nation on Catholic Guilt

We Built This Nation, we built This Nation on Catholic Guilt
Built this nation, we built this nation on Catholic Guilt

We Built This Nation, we built This Nation on Catholic Guilt
Built this nation, we built this nation on Catholic Guilt

(We built, we built this nation) built this nation (we built, we built this nation)
(repeats out)
trhall@stuart.iit.edu

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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royce miller - July 01, 2003 - Report this comment
pretty heavy
Phil Alexander - July 01, 2003 - Report this comment
...and don't forget Presbyterian inability to have a good time ;-)
Pat - July 01, 2003 - Report this comment
How hateful and hurting. You have no feelings at all? Plus, I really do think you should do homework on the stuff you claim. 1/2 of 1% of priests molest compared to 10% of Lutheran ministers, and I didn't even check the others!!
Pat - July 01, 2003 - Report this comment
Is this 'parody' an attempt to emulate Jack Chick's anti-Catholic comic books? The reason that they were in comic book form is that Jack Chick's 'audience' didn't have much of an I.Q.
Guy DiRito - July 01, 2003 - Report this comment
Just an observation and I know this is a parody but how can you say this country was built on Catholisism when it was the British that colonized the place and they were almost solidly Protestant. This is evident in the religious beliefs of the American Presidents. Only one was Catholic and that was John F Kennedy and he did not assume the office until 184 years after America declared her independence. Just an observation...
Guy DiRito - July 01, 2003 - Report this comment
Just an afterthought - If you are wrong about the Catholics building the nation and making the laws then you just may just be wrong about what Pat is trying to point out to you here as well. Again - just an observation and an afterthought.
Syncronos - July 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Oh boy...a Catholic slam parody...well, freedom of speech reigns here, so sing it from the mountaintops! Me personally, I think Catholicism is weird. How can a man who's just as sinful as me tell me my sin is absolved? I thought that was reserved for the big guy upstairs...but that's just me. Tim Hall, you say what you want! I got your back!
Aunt E Choy Sir - July 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Pat, have you ever thought that Lutheran flock might just be more likely to dob their ministers in than Catholics? There's always more than one factor when we are talking about anything human....
neminem - July 05, 2003 - Report this comment
I did think it was funny, however it is a good point that this nation was built much more on Puritan guilt than Catholic.
Aunt E Choy Sir - July 05, 2003 - Report this comment
As the you lot say, neminem....Potay-to; potah-to. :/
Aunt E Choy Sir - July 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Sorry, changed my mind half-way through that sentence...that should read 'As you lot say,'.
FuNkY mOnKeY - October 15, 2003 - Report this comment
I came across this when looking at the Amiright Awards page. To the author of this parody: WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?! How hateful of you to post a Catholic slam parody!!! I am a Catholic. Does that make me weird? I am not a dull, closed-minded, guilty little nit. How about you start judging people on their personality instead of their faith? Would that be so hard? The Catholic Church does not condone child molestation, just so you know. People are people, and people besides our priests do those things, unfortunately--which I think is horrible. Personally, I like the Catholic school that I go to because it's just like any public school, but we pray in the morning and afternoon and take religion classes. Students who go to Catholic schools, like me, are not being scared into *anything*. Is that so horrible and confining? Don't you even dare criticize my faith. Shame on you!!
Claude Prez - October 15, 2003 - Report this comment
Um, FuNkY mOnKeY--"Don't you even dare criticize my faith" is completely intolerant and, yes, closed-minded. I can't speak for Tim, but as a former Catholic, I know I'm pretty comfortable criticizing it (and, frankly, all organized religion--which by its nature undermines personal responsibility and causes far more harm than good. But I digress). I just think you should know you come across as very defensive. If your faith is so strong, just what are you afraid of? Oh, and good parody Tim.
FuNkY mOnKeY - October 15, 2003 - Report this comment
Claude Prez: I feel offended when someone publicly states that Catholicism tries to scare children into what it teaches and that it condones sexual abuse of children, among other things, because I know of these statements as not being true in the least. Also, I highly disagree with your statement "...and, frankly, all organized religion--which by its nature undermines personal responsibility and causes far more harm than good..." Actually, many children (and adults) find in their religion strength and security, believe it or not. Also, nobody is really being forced into any of this. There are many religions around the world that teach different things, and they all can, at least, be taken simply as a set of ideas and morals that are being taught that can be accepted whole-heartedly, or rejected. I have never been strongly reprimanded for doing something that isn't recognized by the Catholic Church (ie practicing astrology) despite the claims of this parody author. Personally, because of this, I don't think there should be wars and such over religion and supposed superiority of one over another. No religion is perfect, just as no person is perfect, and Catholicism is one of them. But still, I am hurt when I, and other members of the Catholic Church, are accused of these things mentioned in this parody. That's all. I may have taken it a bit hard at first perhaps, but this parody is still hurtful!
Michael Pacholek - October 15, 2003 - Report this comment
Mel Brooks likes to say, "The only real sin is not being funny." Well, this one is a major sinner. I'm sure there's a good parody out there waiting to be written to "We Built This City," but this sure wasn't it.
Guy DiRito - October 15, 2003 - Report this comment
I agree. This parody was kind of sucky.
Claude Prez - October 15, 2003 - Report this comment
Sorry, FM, but I'm seeing some holes here. First, you say you're offended at the notion that Catholicism tries to scare children into what it teaches. As I said, I was raised Catholic and I definitely recall the impact I felt when I learned of eternal damnation (I suspect most "true believers" remain so out of fear; "just in case"). Are you saying they no longer threaten children? I hope you're right. You're also offended that anyone would accuse the Catholic church of condoning the sexual abuse of children. Oh, heavens no. They'd never *condone* it. They've always done their best to cover it up. The allegations are easy to believe, given the unnatural vow of celibacy they require of their clergy. That's what should change; you'll always have "bad apples" if the barrel is rotten to begin with. I do believe that many people find strength and security in religion. But in principle, religion is the same as government--a bureaucratic body whose main purpose, above all else, is to perpetuate itself and grow. Any "good" is secondary and often comes at the cost of greater, often unseen evils--if there's one thing we need more of, it's accountability, which requires personal responsibility, which requires independent thought, which is discouraged by religion in general. This is why I believe government should be as limited as possible and the only thing religion is really good for is to make fun of. It's all stuff people fabricated a long time ago to explain the unexplainable anyway. People stopped believing in Zeus and Thor and one day they'll all laugh at people for believing in God too; it's an evolutionary step.
FuNkY mOnKeY - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
I suggest you read this. "Try not to write a parody that people would find offensive, for example an insult to someone who is likely to read it. This includes racist parodies, etc. If you think your topic might be offensive (like making fun of vegetarians for example)..." --found in an article. Does that help? Personally I think this is, well, perhaps a touch worse than making fun of vegetarians for the sake of some twisted semblance of humour. What is worse is that this parody is not even funny; it's downright lame--that's two marks against it. And how exactly do you know that God, etc. does not exist? What proof, may I ask, have you of that? How could you state right off that there isn't any higher intelligence or big, smart "it"? I try, and fail, to see how you could know that. Are we all just milling about endlessly on this great spinning ball we call Earth? I doubt that. You know what? There are people--perhaps not so much in the US and my native Canada as in other countries--who enjoy celebrating their faith with other members of their community. You read right; they *enjoy* it. Not because they're being forcefully goaded into abiding by whatever rules are laid down. Rather, they find something to believe in. Ohhh, that's *so* horrible! That doesn't mean that all religions are a lie. We may disagree with some of them yes, but does that mean they're automatically wrong, then? Maybe Zeus and Thor do exist. Why can't they? Maybe God exists! Why can't He?...Though I do understand where you may have gotten your ideas about Catholicism from. *Some* people are militant Catholics, forcing their views upon innocent people. Frankly those people appall me for attacking other people on that. I'm not a devout Catholic--I don't live every second of my live based on W.W.J.D.--but I hate when people attack my religion for those scattered people who *do* try to scare people into things because they're way too into their religion and declare hatred of other religions. Please open your eyes and see that not all Catholics are like that. Okay?
Guy DiRIto - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
FuNkY mOnKeY - Biblical prophesy is the one thing that cannot be successfully argued with as being untrue. It is how the Bible assures us that there is a listening, merciful God. Religion is one thing that God did not create but He did create the Words in prophesy. Don't let them cloud the subject with nitpicking over religious issues.
Claude Prez - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
FM--It's not like I can't be offended either. Every day, innocent people are victimized by scumbags who have no respect for the rights of others. I'm not talking about hurt feelings; I'm talking about physical violence. Children being abducted and tortured. That offends me. Women being stalked and raped. That offends me. These things happen all the time and if more people would focus their scorn on real violence instead of worrying about their widdle feelings being offended these things might happen a lot less often. This is why I don't give a crap about your being offended; it's amusing that you take this silly bullshit so seriously. I'm tired of sanctimonious religious types trying to hoard the moral high ground, expecting their idiotic views to be respected when there are much more important things to take seriously. And no, of course I can't prove there's no God but you can't prove there is; that's why it's called faith (aka ignorance). I can't prove there's no Santy Claus either but that doesn't mean I'm gonna write to him and ask for stuff. Anyway I'm sure people are sick of this topic so I'll let you have the last word if you want. Sorry about littering your comment thread Tim.
Bessie - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
I think that this parody was not really written for the FUN that this site intends to make out of music, but to harp on a very nasty subject to reach the public with your own opinions. Many people read these parodies even though they don't submit any. Please don't use this site as a forum to spread your personal opinions. BTW I am NOT a Catholic.
FuNkY mOnKeY - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
"It's amusing that you take this silly bullsh*t so seriously." I'm not taking it "so seriously". Bessie is right: this is NOT a fun, light hearted, actually funny parody. This is a parody that is being deliberately nasty in order to fulfill some megalomaniacal yearning to declare to the public that a certain faith is bad or wrong in some way. I'm not a sanctimonious religious type with idiotic views. Just so you know, I have a life too. I do care about more important things; I don't sit for hours totally obsessing about such things as this. Oh yeah...and those "widdle feelings" are still feelings aren't they Mr. Look-At-Me-On-My-High-Catholicism-Is-Wrong-Throne? You are not at the centre of the universe. Please realize that there are six billion or so other people too, who read these offensive parodies and are being told that their religion forces on its members guilt and shame, which is not true of Catholicism in the least. And just so you know I'm not a Bible-thumper either. I don't go out and preach in the streets, if that's the idea you have. This parody is stereotyping, accusing, and yes, I'll say it again--offensive. That in any degree is not something anyone would find funny or enjoy reading. Correct me if I'm wrong, but is that not the point of this website? For people to read truly clever and humourous parodies that are not deeply mean-spirited and hateful? Apparently not, it seems. And if that is to be the "last word" since you have, ah, other things to do, then that's fine by me. Good riddance.
Tim Hall - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment
Therapy: it does a mind good!
FuNkY mOnKeY - October 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Prejudice: it doesn't!
AMIRIGHT AWARDS NOMINEE - November 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Most Profound Parody
AMIRIGHT AWARDS NOMINEE - November 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Best Religion Parody
Old Comedywriter - February 11, 2004 - Report this comment
More preachy (pun intended) than funny - but that's OK. I never liked Al Franken either, and I'll never sell as many books with comedy as he can sell by bashing.

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