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Song Parodies -> "No 1 Cuts Hair Like U"

Original Song Title:

"Nothing Compares 2 U"

Original Performer:

Sinead O'Connor

Parody Song Title:

"No 1 Cuts Hair Like U"

Parody Written by:

Agrimorfee

The Lyrics

Yes someone else wrote a similar parody with a home video that appeared on ABC-TV's "America's Funniest People" sometime in the early 90s. But I wrote this first.
It's been 21600 minutes
Since U cut my hair away
I hide my head all night and cry all day
Since U cut my hair away

Since it's been gone I can be whatever I want
I wear whatever wig I choose
I could wear some nice clothes by Yves St. Laurent
But I end up looking like a Marine Cadet in fancy shoes
'Cause no 1 cuts hair, no 1 cuts hair like U

I's been so cold around my scalp and ears
At least, what's left of them
No 1 can stop the passers-by from laughing
Tell me baby, do you like the song?
I wanna wring my hands 'round your neck so I can C
If I can kill U

I went to my lawyer, guess what he told me, guess what he told me
He said, "Caveat emptor, there's no way U can sue"
What can I do?
No 1 cuts hair, no 1 cuts hair like U

All the customers U have, Bubba, on your date card
Will all start going away
I guess going to Barber School baby was kind of hard
U really can go far with a little bribe
No 1 cuts hair like U
No 1 cuts hair like U
No 1 cuts hair like U
Copyright 1990, Agrimorfee

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   2
 2
 2
 
 4   0
 3
 2
 
 5   9
 6
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - December 01, 2003 - Report this comment
Just thought I would add as a postscript--according to my mathematics (which could be off), 21600 minutes=7 hours and 15 days. I didn't know what else to do with that first line. :)
Johnny D - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) "But I end up looking like a Marine Cadet in fancy shoes" ..... LOL!
Adagio - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Cute! 5's
Jeff Reuben - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
A cut above the rest!
Rick D - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Hence the nickname "Skinhead O'Conner", one strange chick
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Drat, I was going to make that pun. A short parody, but truly brilliant the way you worked 'caveat emptor' in there. 5-5-5.
Melhi - August 04, 2004 - Report this comment
N - Nice job.
Phil Alexander - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
The thought of Sinead O'Connor singing about haircuts made me grin...
Meriadoc - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Bring out a remake and it could be about Lyndie English' bad haircut... :-P
The Invincible - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) I've heard the Sinead O'Connor's hair joke done a million times before, but this one has to be right up there. Nice work, gets fives.

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