The loser slows his frantic pace
In pain and desperation
His aching wrist and calloused palm
Are sore from masturbation

Thin as wire, his dick's on fire
It's bleeding, raw and torn
Then flooding through his memory
The echoes of online porn

To the mouse, his right hand goes
And closes the browser windows...

The wacker stares with blurry eyes
Defies the empty screen
He's long since used the Jergen's up
And switched to Vasoline

Thirty minutes back, how the mulletard would wack
To online porn he sees
Or something he'd downloaded from
alt.sex.incest.binaries

And he'd like to surf some more
But man, his dick is sore...

Some are born to have real sex
With women of all kinds
But loser sits in his mom's basement
Eating bar-b-q pork rinds

Sadder still to watch online
But never to have known it
So mister KFC fry guy with the mullet hairdo --
This Bud's for you...