I don't want to smell that eau de cheese stink --
Smell it on you or me...

I have a fridge full of fine Trappist ales
And some wine in the rack
Drinking on an empty stomach
With a hankering for a snack

Behind the milk and butter --
This dairy camouflage --
Right next to the leftover pot roast
Sits some rather strong fromage

Need some cheese to go with my drink --
But this French stuff sure does stink --

Don't want a sniff of that Limburger cheese
Or a Camembert de Normandie
No one wants to catch a whiff of the breeze
Coming off of a Vieux Boulogne
I don't want to smell that eau de cheese stink -- smell it on you or me
So I think I'll cut a block of Brie

It's not a subtle aroma
It's a hellish bad stench
Plenty of people avoid cheese that smells too overly French

It's that smell much like ass sweat
That makes my gut muscles wrench
Such an olfactory stink bomb -- it causes my bowels to unclench

No air freshener or Lysol
Can get this bad smell to quench

(chorus repeats)

I don't want to be a victim
to this odorific barrage
so I bag up this killer cheese stink
and put it in the trash in the garage...