Just moved in with Jess
She used to be a good friend of mine
But lately something's changed
That ain't hard to define
She’s become a psycho bitch
And I’m losing my damn mind.

And she's going through all my stuff
And she's stolen my favorite sweater
I just know it
Yeah 'n' she’s playing loud rap music late, late at night

I can’t believe I moved in with that girl!
I’m living with a bitchy girl!
How did I find a roommate like that?

I play along with the charade
Cos it’s too late in the semester to change
You know, there’s not been a person
Who I want more to shoot
I wanna tell her that I hate her
But it’s safest to be mute.

But she's going through all my stuff
And she's stolen my favorite sweater
I just know it
Yeah 'n' she’s screwing creepy frat guys late, late at night

I can’t believe I moved in with that girl!
I’m living with a bitchy girl!
How did I find a roommate like that?

I hate that girl!
I’m living with a bitchy girl
How did I find a roommate…
How did I find me a roommate like that?

And I'm lookin' up on craigslist all the time
Wondering if I can find a place
Get a house
Near the school and bus lines
And get away from her scowling face!

Tell me how did I get me a roommate like that?

I can’t believe I moved in with that girl!
I’m living with a bitchy girl
A real bitchy girl!
How did I get me a roommate like that?
That bitchy girl
I’m living with a bitchy girl
I hate, I hate bitchy girls!