I can't find my kneecaps any longer
Because I've grown to fat to let them show
What started out as gorging has gone wronger
I only wish I knew the trick to let it slow

I tell myself that I can't pig out for ever
I know that a solution must be near
But I feel so secure in my McDonald's
A dozen #1's
Makes everything so clear

And after 50 nuggets,
I'll drink down 20 Sprites,
There's nothing like that soft serve
On a long, hot summer's night,
And I'm getting bigger than I ever thought I might.

And I can't find my kneecaps anymore
I've forgotten what I used to use them for
It's time to avoid the grocery store
And give up the s'mores forever.

Cause I can't find my kneecaps anymore
I've forgotten what I used to use them for
Now even breathing has become a chore
I can't fit through the door
Baby, I can't find my kneecaps anymore.

My life has been in a tailspin since I met you
I've been eating my weight in cold cuts every night
And it always seems that I'm following you girl,
Cause you hide the cookies places,
That alone I'd never find.

And after 50 nuggets,
I'll drink down 20 Sprites,
There's nothing like that soft serve
On a long, hot summer's night,
And I'm getting bigger than I ever thought I might.

And I can't find my kneecaps anymore
I've forgotten what I used to use them for
It's time to avoid the grocery store
And give up the s'mores forever.

Cause I can't find my kneecaps anymore
I've forgotten what I used to use them for
Now even breathing has become a chore
I can't fit through the door
Baby, I can't find my kneecaps anymore.