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Song Parodies -> "BattleTanx"

Original Song Title:

"Cannonball Run Theme"

Original Performer:

Ray Stevens

Parody Song Title:

"BattleTanx"

Parody Written by:

Dylan Baranski

The Lyrics

BattleTanx is an underrated Nintendo 64 game from 1999. In this game, you drive a tank in a post-apocalyptic landscape & complete a variety of objectives, from rescuing Queenlords to simply blowing up all the other enemy tanks. It's not the best game in the world, but it's a good game, and if you have a Nintendo 64, I recommend giving it a try! Enjoy the parody! DKTOS? (Version without sound effects)
What do you do when the bombs have hit,
(Start it)
And everything’s been blown to bits?
(Move it)
When you’re alive, who you gonna thank?
(Find ‘em)
What do you do when you’re drawin’ blanks?
(Tanx)

BattleTanx!
(BattleTanx)
BattleTanx!
(BattleTanx)
BattleTanx!

It’s not where you go, it’s how you get there,
Bring everything you need to bring!
It’s not who you face, it’s how you face ‘em,
You’ll take dents & you’ll take dings.

If you’re not being so careful, you’ll be bacon,
Mile after mile, there’s enemies.
If you got the drive, you can take ‘em.
Load it up,
(Load it up)
Let ‘er rip,
(Let ‘er rip)
From sea to shining sea!
(Sea to shining sea)

Tanx!
(Tanx)
BattleTanx!
(BattleTanx)

What do you do when a roadblock is there?
(Crush it)
What do you do when things go nuclear?
(Punch it)
When your foes are at your flanks,
(Dodge ‘em)
What do you do when you’re drawin’ blanks?
(Tanx)

BattleTanx!
(BattleTanx)
BattleTanx!
(BattleTanx)
BattleTanx!

It’s not where you go, it’s how you get there,
Bring everything you need to bring!
It’s not who you face, it’s how you face ‘em,
You’ll take dents & you’ll take dings.

If you’re not being so careful, you’ll be bacon,
Mile after mile, there’s enemies.
If you got the drive, you can take ‘em.
Load it up,
(Load it up)
Let ‘er rip,
(Let ‘er rip)
From sea to shining sea!
(Sea to shining sea)

Tanx!

[Cop]:
This is car 54; we’re still in pursuit of the M1 Abrams.

[Dispatcher]:
Car 54, you’ve been in pursuit of that tank for the past six hours! It’s time you ended this pursuit in the interest of public safety!

[Cop]:
Negative, sir. I think the National Guard may actually be available for assistance this time.

[Dispatcher]:
OK, but your family’s gonna have to pay for that car if it gets blown up!

BattleTanx!
(BattleTanx)
(BattleTanx)
In memory of Dom DeLuise (1933-2009) & Farrah Fawcett (1947-2009)

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