When I was a boy I went to schul to learn about the Mosaic rule -
It was the proper thing to do in our kosher home.
All day long I'd run and play 'till the setting sun meant Sabbath day -
Then it was time for me to be heading home.
Momma set the table all nice and proper, Papa said the prayer and then we had supper -
But a certain Sabbath made family history.
People came to town from miles away like the Rose Parade on New Year's Day,
For my Cousin Joe's Bar Mitzvah victory.
We were on our way to the synagogue while the redneck kids were catching frogs -
It looked like our service was about to be disturbed.
As Joseph sang Baruch Adonai, 'twas when all the frogs began to fly -
His papa - my Uncle benny - was looking quite perturbed, "Well!"

That day the frogs got away,
In the Temple Beth Oy Vay,
In the California town of Pasadena.
It was a grauber mishegoss,
That broke out on the Shabbes,
In the middle of my Cousin Joe's Bar Mitzvah.

Well, Joe hollered, "Oy givalt!" like an old woman -
Some thought it was Hitler, others thought armageddon -
Then the cantor clammed up - it was quiet except for some cussing.
Someone hollered 'bout a box by the door where frogs were jumping all over the floor -
The women got busy with the brooms - it was no time for fussing. "Feh!"
Well, way up front in the right hand pew sat Mr. and Mrs. More - kosher - than - you -
They never missed a service though they didn't know you from beans.
They were covered with frogs - how they were clinging to their brand new clothes from I Magnin -
They were jumping and "speaking in tongues" if you know what I mean!
As Rabbi Spock observed the congregation, kept his cool amid all the commotion -
He raised an eyebrow and said, "fascinating".
They had more work than they bargained for as they swept the frogs outside the door -
They could hear the Goyim laughing and celebrating!

That day the frogs got away,
In the Temple Beth Ov Vay,
In the California town of Pasadena -
It was a grauber mishegoss,
That broke out on the Shabbes,
In the middle of my Cousin Joe's Bar Mitzvah.

Then Cousin Joe got a grip and turned his prayer shawl into a whip,
And drove out all those frogs like Jesus cleansing the Temple.
He saw the goy boys hiding in the bushes, grabbed them one by one and zetzed 'em in the tochas -
Even Zayde plotzed at Cousin Joe's example.
In spite of Joseph's expertize, no one could cut them down to size -
There was nothing in the Talmud on how to lick a redneck.
Then the Rabbi said, "Joe, you forgot - just use the ole hand as you were taught." -
So he grabbed those zhlobs by the scruff of the neck.
Well, the goyim were knocked out cold on the ground, just as the police force came around,
And schlepped them all into the Paddy van.
There was no one left but the mishpocheh who got back to the Bar Mitzvah -
And that day my Cousin Joe became a man!

That day the frogs got away,
In the Temple Beth Oy Vay,
In the California town of Pasadena.
It was a grauber mishegoss,
That broke out on the Shabbes.
In the middle of my Cousin Joe's Bar mitzvah.

Really!