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Song Parodies -> "Bathroomian Rhapsody"

Original Song Title:

"Bohemian Rhapsody"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Bathroomian Rhapsody"

Parody Written by:

Lozzie R

The Lyrics

OK, I know loads of people have submitted Bohemian Rhapsody parodies, but I just couldn't resist. Enjoy!
Is this a clean lav? Is this a vacancy?
My stomach's aching, gotta take a poo and a pee.
Open your flies,
Aim up to the skies and pee....

I'm a desperate boy,
I need the toilet now
Because I need a dump, gotta go
Squeeze it out, real slow.
Anyway my wind blows,
Fogging up the bathroom for me...
For me...

Bummer, just broke the pan.
Thought it was a turtle head
Did a power dump instead
Bummer, this turd has just begun,
But now I have to push it all the way.

Bummer, ooooooh!
My arse is really sore,
At this rate, I'll still be here tomorrow.
On the John, carry on.
It doesn't really matter.

Too late, my butt has gone.
Sends shivers down my spine.
Anus stretching all the time.
Help me, anybody?
I'm gonna blow,
Unless I get the bugger out today.

Bummer, owwwwwwww!
Why's my ass so tight?
Sometimes I wish I'd never got corked at all...

I see a little syrup of figs on the side.
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, he just drank the whole bottle.
I just can't stop shite-ing, very very frightening me!
Diarrhoea, (diarrhoea), Diarrhoea (diarrhoea)
Diarrhoea, let me go.
My butt is sooooorrrreee....

I've got the drizzlies, somebody help me.
He's got the drizzlies, get back on the lavatory.
Hold on tight 'cause this guy is gonna scream!
Here it comes, there it goes, brown rivers flow.

Russian sh*ts (noooooo!) His arse is gonna blow! (there it goes!)
Smell's killer (nooo) His arse is gonna blow! (there he goes)
Run away NOW! His arse is gonna blow! (there it goes)
He has got the trots (got the trots)
Sitting on the pot (on the pot)
Giving all he's got (all he's got)

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! OW! OW!
Oh diarrhoea, diarrhoea.
Diarrhoea let me go!
Syrup of figs is a messing up my guts,
Poor me, poor me, poor meeeeeeeee....

So you think you can stay on the toilet all night,
So you just had the trots but you're still full of sh*te?
Oh, maybe. I just sh*t like a baby.
Just had to come out, just had to come right out of here.

Senokot* or Ex Lax,
Doesn't work you see.
Nothing really matters.
Nothing really matters,
to me...

Ow, my poor asshole...
*- Senokot is a brand of laxative. Just so you know.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   1
 4   4
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - March 18, 2004 - Report this comment
"Diarrhea, Diarrhea, what do you know?/ The bestest-rhyme that anyone has done/ To me, to me, to me!" 555
Johnny D - March 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Okay, okay, I guess BoRap deserves a little toilet humor after all this time. 5's
decade cop - March 18, 2004 - Report this comment
The original came out in the 70s, and was revived in the early 90s.
aoid - March 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I didn't like it. ;p
aoid - March 18, 2004 - Report this comment
XYZ - March 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Well look at that, the same person commented twice above. How bizarre...
Guy - March 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Boy this was shitty. I'm fiving it.
Grace Hampton - March 20, 2004 - Report this comment
HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! You must have utilized every bathroom word and phrase in the English language.
malcolm higgins - March 22, 2004 - Report this comment
as the king of toilet humour, I'm lending you the crown for a while...5-5-5
Pudding girl - April 08, 2004 - Report this comment
I was about to submit a parody of this song but man, this song takes the biscuit. It's amazing, congratulations. Best parody I've ever read.
Arwen - April 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for bringing my attention to this little gem, Lozzie! Definitely a 5-5-5-er!! Great job!
Lozzie R - April 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, everybody! Glad to see you liked it! :)
the real aoid - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
I said I didn't like it; it was too gross.
Lozzie R - May 01, 2004 - Report this comment
*confused* Will the real Aoid please stand up?
anny - December 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Cool :) you did a really good job :)
solidgameboy12 - October 25, 2005 - Report this comment
I am very mature, but now I realize how funny this song was, unlike it's very serious counterpart, Bohemian Rhapsody. I like it!
Dat Pillis - November 01, 2005 - Report this comment
I thought that you did a great job it was hilarious, if there was a ten I would give it to you but heres a 5.
aerokissfloyd - November 03, 2005 - Report this comment
My brother and I tried singing this and just couldn't make it without cracking up. 545! Dude, or dudette, you are the king, or queen, of the bohemian rhapsody parodies!
Bookworm7896 - November 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Best Bohemian Rahapsody pavrody I have ever read! (although I've only read this one). 555!!!
DaNameIzMike - August 22, 2011 - Report this comment
Um, well it's a good parody... but it's very disturbing. Just crank it down on mentioning the body parts... it's very disturbing. Other than that I guess it's ok... just gross.

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