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Song Parodies -> "Bris"

Original Song Title:

"Kiss"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Prince

Parody Song Title:

"Bris"

Parody Written by:

Agrimorfee

The Lyrics

Oi!

You have chosen the beautiful old tradition
To raise your lovely baby in God's vision
One needs much experience to cut it off
Just leave it all up to me, this procedure can be quite tough

You don't have to be rich to pay this moile
It's great to be Jew--ish in this world
There's no other job that I'm more comfortable with
I plan to take extra care with your (snip, snip, snip snip!)
Bris!

Now, so let's talk turkey, bubeh--
How much will you pay me?
How 'bout gefilte, Mama, to add to my cut-rate fee?
Installment plans are interest free
Could I pour you some wine?
There's a money-back gurantee
My skills are divine

You don't have to be rich to pay this moile
It's great to be Jew--ish in this world
There's no other job that I'm more comfortable with
I plan to take extra care with your (snip, snip, snip snip!)
Bris!

(Think I'll dance the hora now!)
(Play that guitar, Mendy!)

Torah's good words rule my world
Ah yes, they are my world
At my age, khaver, I find it best not to work too hard
I don't have to watch too closely, some space is all I need
And I have my guide dog help me
He is the smartest breed

Wait, is there some hitch to be the moile?
You can't play me the fool!
I've been through the world
If it's the fact that I'm blind that you're uncomfortable with
Well just get some other guy for your (snip, snip, snip, snip!)
Bris!
Copyright 2006, Agrimorfee. I'm not Jewish, but I am verklempt. (moile=person who performs a circumcision; khaver=buddy, friend; bubeh=grandmother--only because it worked well with the song)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   9
 9
 9
 

User Comments

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Stephen Harrington - March 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Very good, 5s.
Stuart McArthur - March 29, 2006 - Report this comment
one of a very small number of circumsision parodies, Agri - very well written to the OS too - 555
Tommy Turtle - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Not circumlocuted, but circumscribed well. 5 snips.
Michael Pacholek - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
It's "mohel," actually (or as close as Hebrew-to-English will allow), but as this parody proves, mohel's well that ends well.
Matthias - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Adam Sandler would be proud, as would Mel Brooks....
bobpiecheese - July 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3-B) The idea sounds like it should've been done by Smooth-E. And it's "moyl" according to Weird Al in his "Pretty Fly (For A Rabbi)". So funny it made me plotz!
Agrimorfee - July 10, 2006 - Report this comment
FWIW, my source for the spelling of moile/mohel/moyle was www.yiddishdictionaryonline.com . Can't see if there could be anymore of a definitive online source.
Red Ant - July 16, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3B) The lyrics stand quite well on their own. I hope this makes my final cut. And kudos for reminding me of one of my favorite SP episodes (I guess it's titled "Ike's Bris").
Rex - July 16, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm not usually a fan of cutting humor, but this is excellent!
Stuart McArthur - July 16, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3-B) see above - this one definitely benefits from being read against the OS playing - eg.the "(snip, snip, snip snip!)" bit is inspired, Agri - and the "Jew-ish" goes a treat too - this is one of my favourites of yours
Johnny D - July 17, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) Mazel Tov! Reminds me of how Schlomo's hoary gato brissed her son Otto with some sharpened Styx.
tomario - July 18, 2006 - Report this comment
no pain no gain,very imformative
Jeff Reuben - July 18, 2006 - Report this comment
This will certainly make the cut, it's a cut above the rest, etc...in theory I can relate, but I'm glad I don't remember!
Rick C - July 19, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3-B) Ouch! A blind moile could make short work of a bris! Good one, Agri. 555
Agrimorfee - July 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Red, Rex, Stu, Johnny, tomario, Jeff & Rick!
Kristof Robertson - July 21, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) Yes, I remember my circumcision...we had Gatorade and waffles...aaah, memories...:-) This was fun, Agri. 555
Rick C - August 16, 2006 - Report this comment
See above. Also paid tribute to this one in your tribute parody.

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