Hello
Is there anybody in there?
Just grunt if you can hear me
are you sitting on the bowl?
Come on now
Before I have a cow
I've got such a pain
My old bowels are bound up tight again
Ex-lax
I'll need some to make my rectum work
Just a half a pack
any more I'll have the squirts

I need Rogain
My hair's receeding
Where is my toupee, I have forgotten
I did not bring my hearing aid
Speak up loud so I can hear what you say
What I had for lunch
I can't remember
I just sit at home and watch cartoons
Now I'm watching Scooby Doo again
Please don't explain
I will not understand
And I don't give a damn
I have become senile and dumb

Ok, just a glass of prune juice
There'll be no more "AHHH"
But I may feel a little loose
Just one more cup
I do believe it's working good
That'll keep me sitting on the bowl
But now I'll miss my shows

Oh not again
My hemorrhoid's bleeding
A broken screen lets all the flies in
I am only shouting rants and raves
My bowels move but I can't sit here all day
When I was a child I was always beating wimps
I'd punch them all right in the eye
I'm tired now, my strength is gone
I cannot lay a finger on them now
I'm much too old
My memory's gone
I have become senile and dumb