When I’m near you to my dislike
Even if it’s five feet away
I’ll still know what you ate today

Whether you squeezed parmesan juice
Or you bathed with Pepe Le Peu
Just one thing is always true

You just, you just, you just
Need a mint
Need a mint

No wonder you’re always dumped
Girls when they try to kiss you
They end up in a coffin
Before they can say that you
Need a mint

Do you just seldom brush your teeth
Or addicted to garlic beef
No doubt it smells like pea

For everyone who always knew
And tried to tell this to you who
Just didn’t want to hurt you

You just, you just, you just
Need a mint
Need a mint

Cause your breath smells worse than dung
Or two year old codfish stew
Ravioli spinach gin
When will this ever be through
Need a mint

Teacher forgive me, but who smelled it dealt it
Whoever tried to breath, there fell unconscious
Whatever that’s causing, the stench o so rancid
Teacher please move me, cause if you don’t care
Then I’d rather drop out than

Be forced to sit next to one guy
Who thinks it’s illegal to bathe
Or cuts one from his mouth each day

Whether his pits will make us sue
Or his burps run straight to the moon
Just tell him what we all knew:

You just, you just, you just
Need a mint
Need a mint

Only a dimwitted dunce
Would not think he’d go boo-hoo
And gas masks not be wearing
Or simply just never spew

Need a, need a, need a
Need a mint