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Song Parodies -> "Heston Hurls"

Original Song Title:

"West End Girls"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Pet Shop Boys

Parody Song Title:

"Heston Hurls"

Parody Written by:

Porfle Popnecker

The Lyrics

Lunchtime, you're filming a scene
There's a bun in your hand with a mystery between
You're at the craft, service table
Choking down lunch as fast as you're able

On a movie set for a Heston flick
Face turning green, and he looks kinda sick
Spins around, hugs the ground
There's a P.A., screaming "Heston's down"

On a movie set, a made-up world
The lunch goes down and Heston hurls
On a movie set, a made-up world
The lunch goes down and Heston hurls
Heston hurls

Too many entrees, not enough veggies
Pickles on crackers, slimy cheese wedgies
Milk, tea, juice, pop
What the hell's this glop?

Did he see it, did he taste it, could that be stuffin'
And which did he choose, a hard or soft muffin?
(How much did he eat?)

On a western street in movie world
The food goes bad and Heston hurls
On a western street in movie world
The food goes bad and Heston hurls
Heston hurls

(instrumental)

How much did he eat?

On a vast soundstage with dancing girls
The camera rolls as Heston hurls
On a vast soundstage with dancing girls
The camera rolls as Heston hurls
Heston hurls

He had the liver loaf and the goose pate'
Just one plate of the squash souffle'
A day of filming, abruptly ends
Barf erupts, on the lens

A garish splatter, a gruesome texture
It might as well have been composed of extras
(What is soylent green?)

On a sandy beach in monkey world
The feast aborts as Heston hurls
On a sandy beach in monkey world
The feast aborts as Heston hurls
Heston hurls
Heston hurls

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 1
 
 3   0
 1
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 4   1
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 5   4
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User Comments

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Callmelennie - March 12, 2012 - Report this comment
So, is that why Heston was pounding beach sand at the end of "Planet of the Apes" and saying "Damn you all to hell!" He was cursing the caterer? And all this time I thought it was because he had just discovered that human civilization had annihilated itself in a nuclear holocaust
Porfle Popnecker - March 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Yeah, fortunately they were able to write that scene into the story!
Rob Arndt - March 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Nice one Porfle-555! My fave Heston movies are "10 Commandments", "Omega Man", "Soylent Green", and "Planet of the Apes". You should parody some of the others!
Porfle Popnecker - March 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks, yeah those are some of my faves too except I prefer "Last Man On Earth" with Vincent Price to "Omega Man." I actually got to see "10 Commandments" and "Soylent Green" on the big screen, the first on its re-release and the second when it was new.
Rob Arndt - March 12, 2012 - Report this comment
I like all 3: Price in LMOE, Heston in OM, and Smith in "I am Legend" (the title of the original book). I cried when the his German Shepherd had to be killed. Do you know that Euro mountain troops when they climb, take their dogs with them? Yeah, huge harnesses. I am amazed that they will cross heights with a fully grown Shepherd (usually German or Belgian) attached! In WW2 the Waffen SS often had their Shepherds ride with them in AFVs. Several LW pilots also crammed their dogs into the back of Fw-190s in the rear fuselage to transport them to a new base!

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