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Song Parodies -> "Agent 99"

Original Song Title:

"99 Red Balloons"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Agent 99"

Parody Written by:

Chris Frederick

The Lyrics

Just a quick tribute. I happened to look at the list of "99 Red Balloons" parodies and realized that almost all of them were about 99 *of* something, and that long-suffering Agent 99 had been ignored thus far.
You and I, while we're at the zoo,
Hear a very loud ring, and it comes from my shoe.
Take it off, and I say hello.
Hey, it's the Chief; we must go.
Back at base, we get a mission
Which requires a tactician.
I'm confident we'll do just fine,
Thanks to you, Agent 99.

Ninety-nine missions done.
Time to do the hundredth one.
Chief got kidnapped, what a drag,
But that promotion's in the bag.
We rescued him... Easy stuff.
I'm as clever as I'm tough.
KAOS goons got out of line,
So we killed them, me and 99.

Ninety-nine more KAOS guys,
Ninety-nine times Siegfried tries
To bind us, loot us, stab or shoot us,
Sometimes even to recruit us.
We're in constant danger here,
And we love it, never fear.
No, we can't lose 'cause you are mine;
Yes, you're my girl, Agent 99.

Ninety-nine times every year
I tell the Chief his briefing's clear,
All except the part he told us
After "Listen carefully."
My orders I sometimes forget,
But fail a mission? Never yet.
When I'm confused, you remind
Me what to do, Agent 99.

99, I dream of you
(Although I dream of Jeannie, too.)
The season's done, and we're on hiatus.
I'm sad to say the critics hate us.
We try to find a gimmick here,
Make the show last one more year.
Got a Smart idea soon,
We'll take our vows and say "I do."

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   8

User Comments

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Kristof Robertson - June 13, 2007 - Report this comment
99, I dream of you
(Although I dream of Jeannie, too.)"
That was a great line, Chris...and the rest of the parody wasn't too shabby either. I loved "Get Smart" when I was a kid; and I've got a 99 parody I'm presently mapping out (different OS)- although it looks like you've nabbed all the best lines. 555
Jack Wilson - June 13, 2007 - Report this comment
I LOVED Get Smatr hwne it was on TV Land, awesome job
McKludge - June 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Would you believe? ... (dials 555 on his shoe phone)
2Eagle - June 13, 2007 - Report this comment
She jumped the shark when she and 86 married and started playing house.
Dee Range - June 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Well done, Chris. This song somehow brings forth great parodies, and this is no exception.
John Barry - June 13, 2007 - Report this comment
A smart parody.
Agrimorfee - June 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Very nice overview of the whole series, esp. the jumping of the shark when they got hitched.
stuart mcarthur - June 14, 2007 - Report this comment
well now we know who, that should tell us why and when, or should when tell us what? - never mind - 99 deserves her own parodies, Chris - she had that very intimate sexy way about her - I've been trying to get "Ninety Nine's a dyke" up for ages to Blinded By the Light, but as yet not enough material to fill out that epic OS - maybe one day - btw good work here - 555
Weird Bob Schnautz - June 21, 2007 - Report this comment
I LOVE THAT SHOW!!! I didn't know they were taking it off air... By the know those "french fries" you had last night? Those weren't frenched fried potatoes...they were frenched fried foam rubber!

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