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Song Parodies -> "Craigslist Hookers"

Original Song Title:

"Lonesome Loser"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Little River Band

Parody Song Title:

"Craigslist Hookers"

Parody Written by:

Lionel Mertens

The Lyrics

Dear Mr. Newmark and Mr. Buckmaster: Thank you for the excellent service that craigslist.org provides. I'm so glad you guys are looking out for the little guy and not becoming the typical "Robber Baron" types (see link below for details,) by offering your services to almost all of the global community for free. While I'm sure you know that billions have benefited from your benevolence, it bears repeating. Because you two have done a beautiful thing with your bulletin board. So without any bemuse, let me say that you guys are great. However, one aspect of your service does seem to run a little incongruous to your good conscience: Erotic Services. As it stands, any eighteen year old can now just call/click and have pizza and pussy delivered in about half and hour, without hassle from the pimps or cops using craigslist and the yellow pages. And I'm not afraid to say, that the situation spans further than the previous sentence. But I'll leave that to all the Tipper Gore's out there (PMRC here we come!) Anyway, thanks again for providing a place where all us "Lonesome Loser's" could get our rocks off with safer sex. You guys have really taken a lot of vice off the streets with your erotica online. Now it's even easier for cops to monitor prostitution's activities. And for this, I present to you this song parody as tribute. Sincerely yours, The "Celibate for Now" Lionel Mertens
Have you heard about the craigslist hookers?
Clicking on erotic service you'll find
Will you call, and order her delivered?
She's not pizza, but she's looks-a-piece worth tryin'

Click now! Take a look for yourself
Don't you want to see hot bodies?
Tonight her body can be your delight
You just pony up, she's no blushing bride

Have you clicked, for some erotic service?
Pimpin' in a euphemistical light
Will she serve, you for a noble purpose?
She's no worker, but her trade she is plying

She's working with stiffs, because least that's where it pays
She's gives good head, and she's always getting a raise
She's no new intern though her pallet's cleft
Did a job for boss, now he has to pay the cost

Have you clicked, like a Lookie Looer?
Peeking at the pics of tarts so divine
Do you thirst, to suckle Biggun Hooters?
They're just implants, but they're still worth spying

"I'm horny!" he smirks and says
And her nakedness is driving him crazy
Only he knows what goes on in his head
But if you click were he clicks you'll see it all

Click Now! Take a look for yourself
Don't you want to see some pussy?
Some say all bodies are hot pink inside
Are you slick enough, for this slip and slide?

Have you heard about the craigslist hookers?
Now tell me have you thought about erotic service?

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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alvin rhodes - July 27, 2006 - Report this comment
wow...the world's at one's fingertips these days
John Barry - July 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow is right. How about "Bonesome Coozer"?
Rick C - July 27, 2006 - Report this comment
"Are you slick enough for this slip and slide" cracked me up. 555
Christie Marie M - April 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Very kinky lyrics and great choice for using this OS to do a parody on! 555!!

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