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Song Parodies -> "Shave Your Thighs For Heather"

Original Song Title:

"Close My Eyes Forever"

Original Performer:

Lita Ford & Ozzy Osbourne

Parody Song Title:

"Shave Your Thighs For Heather"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

A heavy metal love duet.
(She:) Baby, I get so ticklish
And I hope that you'll understand
That it's comfort for my mind, it's not a kink you see

(He:)Heavens! I must be calm in this plan
Since my body hair bothers you
What am I supposed to do with this cream depilatory?
If I shave my thighs for Heather
Will she be much less unhinged?
If I shave my thighs for Heather
Will she remain my dame?

Sometimes, this razor's hard to pull down
Especially past my knees
I am not on a swimming team
So honey, please bear with me

(She:) You're just like Tigger
Your fuzz just makes me start
Just take care now with that blade
Just slowly sweep, and you shouldn't bleed
Are you going against the grain?

If you shave your thighs, my lover
I won't act so darned deranged
Yes, please shave your thighs, my lover
Just go with my game...

Your fuzzy legs did quake me
(He:)Ow, now I'm feeling pain
(She:) Oh, did you get cut honey?
(He:) No, my toe's stuck in the drain! Oh....

(She:) Oh dear, this has been so hard on you
Oh, now please don't cry!
I'll take you to the E/R, Mitch!
(He:) Alright, but please don't tell the guys!
I tried to shave my thighs for Heather
Now my right foot has been maimed
I tried to shave my thighs for Heather
Now I'm all filled up with shame, baby...

Shaved your thighs
Shaved your thighs
You tried to shave your thighs for me.
Copyright 2008, Agrimorfee.

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Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   10

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - September 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Bristling with humor.
John Barry - September 03, 2008 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but this was sharp.
littleOtterEss - September 03, 2008 - Report this comment
. . . .Sir Agree, this is exactly why I prefer " Otters " . . . Campagna Bros.
Below Average Dave - September 03, 2008 - Report this comment
HAHAHA. . .much better than my "Shaving Song" (original 14, but I'm sure you've heard of it). . and I think it's better than my own parody of this song too, well done Agri--shaved, I mean straight 5s
Matthias - September 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Glad to see you back in this competition Aggy!!! I thought we lost you, but we just lost you on the "You're My Best Friend" round, but that's okay because that's one of Queen's worse original songs. Hair metal done with two different styles of hair yours was shaving body hair and mine was involved hair dye. Clever!
lil-Night-Mere - September 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Agree, last night I had a dream about this event . . . it was funny, yet scary what those folks were doing ! !

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