I heard there was a secret record,
that Simon Cowell made and it displeased the Lord (Lloyd Webber)
but you don’t think he cares for music either do ya?
Well it goes like this, the bores, the twits,
minor celebs, major taking the p**s
and baffled X Factor contestants recording Hallelujah.
Well your voice was strong but you needed proof,
you hoped your career would go through the roof,
if you were willing to let Simon Cowell screw ya.
He’ll tie you to a record deal,
make you pretend Danni’s boobs are real
and from your lips he drew the hallelujah.
Baby we’ve been here before,
we’ve heard these sob stories, they’ve become a bore,
only auditions in asylums would be crueller.
Thank God Alex stopped an Eoghan win,
file him under B for Bargain Bin,
an unsold, you-must-be joking hallelujah.
Well there was a time ITV, you used to know,
which finalist was going to win the show,
but now you don’t want the phone voters to sue ya.
But remember when Gareth Gates sort of moved you
and Shane Ward and Leon Jackson somehow seemed moving too
and every record they sold was Hallelujah
Well if there is a God above,
or someone who’s burning with music-love
they’ll shoot down the act who makes their favourite song
sound so peculiar.
But it’s better than most X Factor shite,
and Leonard Cohen was prime-time Saturday night
It’s a keep Simon Cowell from the credit crunch hallelujah.
Hallelujah
(Loads of moolah)
Hallelujah
(They will boo ya)
Hallelujah
(Don’t let them fool ya)
Hallelujah.