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Song Parodies -> "Harlot Juliet"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Leonard Cohen

Parody Song Title:

"Harlot Juliet"

The Lyrics

For never was a story of more woe,Than this of Juliet, the Verona ho.
Now I've heard about this freaky broad
Who spent all day on her knees, the whore
But didn't kneel for prayer; it's so she'd b*** you
This ho was sick, she coughed with drips
A grimy moll with mangy lips
She'd have a fling to use up all your moolah

Harlot Juliet
Harlot Juliet
Harlot Juliet
Harlot Juuuliet.

There came along a young weedy goof
Whose friends all claimed he was a p***
But Juliet was a forthright, pro seducer
Espied him by the kitchen stairs
Poor Romeo was not caught aware
And so they kissed... 'twas putrid as a sewer!

Harlot Juliet
Harlot Juliet
Harlot Juliet
Harlot Juuuliet.

"You say to take your 'sin' again?
Um... that's 'Hepatitis A'.
You'll get chlamydia, anal warts and crabs, too."
She amazed this guy with what she'd learned
She'd mastered mattress twists and turns
A-rollin' like a cookin' pig that's skewered

Harlot Juliet
Harlot Juliet
Harlot Juliet
Harlot Juuuliet.

Our hero dressed... then winced and clutched
At sores congealing around his crotch
No condom used; how could he be so stupid?
Poor Romeo, you've marred your shlong
Got transfixed by that harlot's thong
You must plan your revenge and have her neutered!

Harlot Juliet
Harlot Juliet
Harlot Juliet
Harlot Juuuuuuliet.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Tommy Turtle - May 03, 2006 - Report this comment
A pair of scar-crossed lovers... does Montague plague you? ... WS was never this much fun in school.... Intro comments alone were worth Fives.
Stuart McArthur - May 04, 2006 - Report this comment
ah, finally a Luke song that I have in itunes - read it against the OS for a rare insight into your pacing skills, fellow wombat, and lo, the townspeople saw that I was not disappointed - a great and typical Luke concept - 555
Larry Hensley - May 04, 2006 - Report this comment
Well written, 5s
Luke Brattoni - May 04, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks TT, Stu and Larry!
Bob Konigsberg - September 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Made me shudder! Great Job!!!

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