Midnight,
and I'm a-sitting
on the P-O-T
Hoping it'll take me
just a little less time to go s**t

Ex-lax,
Beans are ass-aches in disguise;
Won't you keep my farts from breaking
if it's only for a very short time

Chorus:
Baby I'm the queen of farts,
All that fiber wasn't really smart
The onions makin' me a fool
I'll do anything for you (the onions)

Laying out another biggun'
The air is stinkin' really bad
That's what I'll have to do
to keep me from going poo

Honey, you know it makes me gas
Why is everybody telling everybody
what I have done
Dairy, you know you make me fat
But when they're handing out the gut-aches
I know I got to have me some

Chorus:



Stinkers, I know you've had a few
But hide your nose beneath the covers
and I'll tell you that it's only one
And others, they know just
what I'm going through
And it's a-hard to be a thinker
when you're spending all your time going s**t
Baby I'm the queen of farts,
All that BK wasn't really smart
Sitting on the john going poo
That's all I have time to do.

Repeat chorus until fade.