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Song Parodies -> "I Raised My Kids (On Rock n' Roll)"

Original Song Title:

"We Built This City (On Rock n' Roll)"

Original Performer:

Jefferson Starship

Parody Song Title:

"I Raised My Kids (On Rock n' Roll)"

Parody Written by:

Cal Thomas

The Lyrics

My commentary on the music scene currently.
I raised my kids,
I raised my kids on rock n' roll!
I raised my kids,
I raised my kids on rock n' roll!

Most kids don't know Slayer, Van Halen or the Crue.
They wouldn't recognize the Stones, Beatles or U2.
Knee deep in the rap scene, hip hop is blasphemy.
If your kids don't know Led Zeppelin; buddy, don't talk to me!

The music scene is dying,
Crap all over radio.
Rock n' roll forever!
I raised my kids.
I raised my kids on rock n' roll!

I raised my kids,
I raised my kids on rock n' roll!
I raised my kids,
I raised my kids on rock n' roll!

Someone's always playing, Eminem or Britney Spears.
Who cares, that shit is degrading; it hurts my damn ears!
We just wanna rock here, The Doors and Jimmy Page.
Pink Floyd, Sabbath, and Maiden, all fuckin' rock the stage!

The music scene is dying,
Crap all over radio.
Rock n' roll forever!
I raised my kids.
I raised my kids on rock n' roll!

I raised my kids,
I raised my kids on rock n' roll!
I raised my kids,
I raised my kids on rock n' roll!

Can't take another Green Day, or an Avril Lavigne.
Pop-shit has got the choke hold, oh,
The world could use another Queen!

Who remembers Hendrix, AC/DC or Gn'R?
Without them how would you know, how to solo on guitar?
Now the world has forgotten, just an empty sea of fools.
Looking for real rock n' roll, it should be taught in schools.

(If you've just tuned in for once we've decided to play some
Metallica pre-Black Album. Just kidding, we're not that cool)

Don't you remember (remember)

(Here's another pop radio station, with another long non-stop sweep
of Linkin Park, Blink 182, Evanescence and some other trendy garbage)

The music scene is dying,
Crap all over radio.
Rock n' roll forever!
I raised my kids.
I raised my kids on rock n' roll!

I raised my kids,
I raised my kids on rock n' roll!
I raised my kids,
I raised my kids on rock n' roll!

I raised my kids,
I raised my kids on rock n' roll!
I raised my kids,
I raised my kids on rock n' roll!
Apologies to the many bands I didn't have space to mention/couldn't fit in that deserve to be mentioned.

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User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Cal Thomas?!? I hope you're not the columnist goon who used to hack for Jerry Falwell. Anyway, despite this being an excellent parody... I believe I heard it somewhere, "When did Motley Crue become classic rock?"... a point has to be made: If Ted Nugent and Iggy Pop could come out of Detroit and be punk or metal in the Seventies, why couldn't Eminem, had he been around at the time, done the same thing? His game is anger, and at the time, metal and punk were the angry music. When he came of age, it was rap. Or do you really think John Lennon, 20 years later, wouldn't have had a leather jacket with studs and a safety pin through each earlobe?
Cal Thomas - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Firstly, I'm not that columnist goon you're thinking of so you can put that out of your head. As for your beef with Motley Crue, I never said they were classic rock, merely they're a band that's been around the block that isn't recognized that much. Or at least...used to be. With this new tour and such I suppose they might build up a bit of new fan base, but for the most part they'll never have the same splash they did like in the old days. I can honestly say I don't think Eminem would have been in punk or metal had he come out of the 70's, just like I don't think he'd be like Hendrix had he come out of the same time frame. I think his talents lie in talking over tracks with witty rhymes here and there, that's it. Would John Lennon being another hair metal freak had he come out of that scene? I doubt that as well. Mostly because had their been no John Lennon in the 60's, the music scene would be a lot different or would have progressed a lot slower.

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