I want a new dog
One that won't beg an' lick
One that won' pee upon my car
Or make me go'an fetch that stick
I want a new dog
One that won't hog my bed
One that won't make my kids all cry
Or make my shins too red

One that won't make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you
When I'm at home with you

I want a new dog
One that won't spill
One that don't pant too much
Or chase ev'ry wheel
I want a new dog
One that won't run away
One that won't keep me up all night
One that won't lay and sleep all day

One that won't make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you
When I'm at home with you
I'm at home with you, lucky

I want a new dog
One that does what it should
One that won't make me smell too bad
One that won't take an' steal my food
I want a new dog
One with no snout
One that won't make me yell too much
Or make my leg break out

One that won't make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you
When I'm at home with you