Bob I need
Some time to get away
To find a piece of mind
A piece of mind that'll stay
Coz takin care of
A night club in LA
Is pretty stressful
'Specially on Fridays

Rock bands and DJs, that's right
Think that they're so big
I don't care what time you have
To be at your next gig
I don't who you are
And you're Jim Carrey?!
Go get some ID; til then
Stick to Ben & Jerry's

Chorus:
You're one of a million
Yeah that's what you are
You're one of a million, man
I don't care who you are
If you're not on the guest list
You're not getting by
If you think you can bribe me
Then my friend you're high
Yes you're high
Yeah you're high
Then you're high

Performers and tech-guys
Show me some dang ID
Kids from that concert
Show me some dang ID
Underage stoners, you too!
Show me some freakin ID!
Don't act like you don't speak English!
Show me some dang ID!

Well some say I'm psycho (Bob: Whaa?!)
And others say that's just Jim
Some say I'm too dang angry
I point and say "no that's him"
But it's been such a long time
Since I had some time off
It's all gonna come to a head I—
Hey, keep it movin' along, yeah, you, yeah!

Chorus:
You're one of a million
Yeah that's what you are
Your one of a million, man
I don't care who you are
If you're not on the guest list, hmm
You're not getting by
And if you think you can bribe me
Then my friend you're high
Yes yer high ooh, much too high
Yeah
Much too high—Huh? Whoa, no, you!
YO!

Guitarists and bassists
Don't point your six-strings at me
I'm just a night club bouncer
Trying to make ends meet
I don't know the problem
Don't know what it's about
But if I were in charge here, man
I'd kick you all the heck out!

Chorus:
You're one of a million
Yeah that's what you are
Your one of a million, man
I don't care who you are
If you're not on the guest list
You're not getting by
And if you think you can bribe me
Then my friend you are high
You're real high
Oh much too high
You're too high
Very high
Yeah, yeeeah, yeah, yeeeah—OUT!
Yo! You! Get out!
I said get the heck out!
Are you high?!
Ah, your too high
Much too high—you!
I said out!