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Song Parodies -> "Nothing's Gonna Make A Boy A Girl"

Original Song Title:

"Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

George Benson

Parody Song Title:

"Nothing's Gonna Make A Boy A Girl"

Parody Written by:

Immoral Liberal

The Lyrics

Garrison: But I paid five thousand dollars to be a woman. This would mean I'm not really a woman. I'm just a... I'm just a guy with a mutilated penis!
Doctor: Basically, yes.
—South Park, "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina"
If you're feeling like you're not in the right body,
What you need is therapy;
Your brain chemistry's wrong.
You don't need hormone blockers or surgery.
Don't take advice from quack doctors;
It's tragic to lose your schlong.

To mutilate what's down below
Won't really change your sex, you know.
Keep your parts, change your mind;
Don't let your delusions blind you.

Nothing's gonna make a boy a girl;
You can't have ovaries, or eggs, or a womb.
Of this you can be certain:
Surgery will just leave you hurtin'.

Nothing's gonna make a boy a girl;
Should have that figured out by kindergarten.
You might think I'm being a churl, but
Nothing's gonna make a boy a girl.

If having a penis makes you queasy,
You shouldn't try to cut it off:
That's going too far.
Try embracing your masculinity:
Try taking testosterone
To make the most of what you are.

Go ask a girl her point of view:
The chances are she would like to
Have a part like your part;
Maybe she even envies you!

Nothing's gonna make a boy a girl;
Not cutting off your dong, nor gashing your crotch.
That kind of mutilation
Will only bring you more frustration.

Nothing's gonna make a boy a girl;
You ought to know the facts of life by now, dude.
You might think I'm being a churl, but
Nothing's gonna make a boy a girl.

Nothing's gonna make a boy a girl;
Inverted genitals won't change your function.
Playing to your delusion
Only brings more pain and confusion.

Nothing's gonna make a boy a girl;
You ought to come to terms with what you are, man.
You might think I'm being a churl, but
Nothing's gonna make a boy a girl.

Nothing's gonna make a boy a girl;
Your chromosomes are male: you can't change your sex.
No means for impregnation:
You've got no place for child gestation.

Nothing's gonna make a boy a girl;
You ought to change your mind to match your body.
You might think I'm being a churl, but
Nothing's gonna make a boy a girl.

Nothing's gonna make a boy a girl... [etc., etc., etc.]
For those poor souls who haven't had the pleasure of hearing the original song, you can find a rare copy of the original music video for it here.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 56

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 4
 4
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   52
 52
 52
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Patrick - February 19, 2021 - Report this comment
Same number of votes I got. And same number (0) of comments. The people who are running the asylum now actually believe that a boy can become a girl. Just by wishing it so. The correct term is "eunuch". Doesn't sound very pleasant to me. You can't fool Mother Nature. She isn't subject to majority vote.

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