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Song Parodies -> "Mars"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Gary Numan

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

This version of the OS is about Mars Inc. the candy company and not the angry Red Planet! I am one of those that grew-up in the '70s with the famous Mars Marathon Bar that was 8" long full of braided caramel in milk chocolate. It came in a bright red wrapped with a golden ruler along its side to measure 8". In California there was even a 15" Marathon Bar sold at 7/11. Pure joy from 1973- Oct 1981 and then NOTHING!!! So many people have complained to Mars over the Marathon Bar that a while back they tried to re-introduce the _name_ with an Energy Bar which only infuriated us loyalists who are forced to buy Imported Cadbury "Curly Wurly" bars from the UK. They are inferior- a poor imitation and wafer thin... so much that as soon as you touch it, it melts under ordinary body heat!!! So you have to quickly eat it or be faced with a handful of chocalate/caramel sludge! Loyalists call that the Parathin Bar :(
How I hate Mars
Candy bars most of all
Where’s the Marathon bars
That I once loved as a kid
from Mars???

How I hate Mars
It’s so hard to believe
What is IN is Retro
Bring back my candy bar
from Mars

How I hate Mars
Your “Energy Bar” con
We were all so displeased
Bring back my candy bar
from Mars

How I hate Mars
Because Cadbury does stink
“Curly Wurly” ain’t right
Marathon copy- ain’t
from Mars...

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Porfle Popnecker - April 30, 2012 - Report this comment
Rob Arndt - April 30, 2012 - Report this comment
I also wonder what happened to the Clark bar? It used to be at Rite Aide in my area a long time ago...?!?
WCJ - May 01, 2012 - Report this comment
Another candy bar we don't hear much of anymore is that "Watchamacallit" bar. ;-) I think that maybe "Willy Wonka" may have beaten it over. LOL! 5 Nuts, 5 Almonds, and 5 Pecans, for this sweet parody. :-)
Andria - May 01, 2012 - Report this comment
You can get Clark, Zagnut, Zero, Abba-Zaba and other retro candy bars on Amazon and a few specialist candy sites. You will be out of luck looking for Marathon bars tho, I already looked. One of your best-ever parodies here, I had next to no trouble singing along, and sentimental as always. 5s.

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