I had me a problem
Concerning something within my bathroom
The john had packed in
It kept refusing to flush
Didn't know what to do
Afraid I'd follow through
Had to get me a plumber, he'd know how to resolve my query
If he couldn't t I'd - spend another night - getting rid of my - waste in somebody's yaaaard
Would someone help me?
Lost so much sleep
Something's wrong with my plumbing
And plumbers don't come cheap!

Come saturday morning
I got a guy in to check my cistern
He said "There's no hope at all"
"We're gonna need to repair."
My eyes welled up with tears
My colon clenched with fear
I said to him "Are you crazy? My fecal matter must go through somewhere!"
Then he gave me a - dirty look and I - thought at once that i - was about to be pummelled
But he just smiled
"I'm sorry pal,"
"Your jettison is YOUR trouble, I'll see you in two weeks"

Two weeks had slowly passed
Swapped Andrex for lawn grass
The guy came back with my toilet, lemon fresh and without a trouble
Pulled the handle and - saw the mess I made - slowly circle the bowl and bomb down the drain
So then I thanked him
Said "No worries"
"But pal when you had to test it, why'd I have to see?"

So no more worries
I've regained sleep
Nothing's wrong with my plumbing
Yet those plumbers don't come cheap!