You're a mean one, Mr. Cowell
You really are too cruel
You're as subtle as a shotgun
You're as witty as a stool
Mr. Cowell
You're a dream-crusher
With a tyrannical rule.

You're pure evil, Mr. Cowell
The devil took your soul
You're an old heartless bastard
A no-talented, pompous troll
Mr. Cowell
Even Paula and Randy, think you're
one big f**king asshole.

You're a cold snake, Mr. Cowell
You'd say "no' to Britney Spears
Make her grovel for a contract
And leave the girl in tears
Mr. Cowell
Choosing between you and Jack the Ripper
I'd take Jack for many, many, years.

You're a miser, Mr. Cowell
You make millions each show tour
Your tongue can spew the insults
You're a spineless TV whore
Mr. Cowell
So from everyone who's singing, here's
a word for you and I quote, Up Yours!

You're a enigma , Mr. Cowell
Our ticket to Hollywood
We'd kiss the ground that you walk on
But you're just, not that good
Mr. Cowell

Somewhere in your poor London home
You must have been locked away alone
Creating such an awful S.O.B.
May you rot in hell all eternity.

You disgust me, Mr. Cowell
Your stench is quite foul, you know
But there's one thing I have to ask
Just who did you have to bl*w?
Mr. Cowell
You're an arrogant obnoxious loser
Wannabee rocker
With a huge ego.