I clean and scrub my mansion
Making sure my house is spic and span
I treat my servants like garbage
And my darling kids are in my command
If you think that I am acting
Then, you're in for a big surprise
My name's Queen Bee Joan Crawford
And you'd better look me in the eyes
You will obey every command
Or I will tear you down to size

CHORUS
I'll beat you with my wire hangers
Joan is in control (Whoo-oo)
I'll beat you with my wire hangers (Oh yeah)
Cause I told you so

BASS LINE
Tina, you will obey
You defy me, and you will pay


Call me Mommie Dearest
And you'd better mean it like it's true
Cause if you, you ever try to talk back
I will hit and slap you black and blue
Cause I, I make the cash and pay bills
And buy all your Christmas toys
But you, you only get one present
Others go to all the girls and boys
You better eat that blood rare meat
Or else I'll fill your ears with noise

CHORUS 2X

Just write those thank you notes
And make that list of Christmas cards to fans
I don't care what you think
You do just what I say, obey all my demands
Or I will beat with my hands

BASS LINE 2X
You will obey all my commands
Or I will tear you down to size

Chorus, Bass Line and Bridge in Counterpoint until fade