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Song Parodies -> "Witches Be Them"

Original Song Title:

"The End Of The Innocence"

Original Performer:

Don Henley and Bruce Hornsby

Parody Song Title:

"Witches Be Them"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

Remember when church bells rang strong
And tolled beneath a deep blue sky
Didn't have a prayer in the world
If you would not kneel when Popes went by

And Vatican power made kings pale
And Inquisition's fright'ning scary tales
Their victims knelt and bawled and wailed
To save their souls they'd cry

A dry cold dark place is where they'd go
Where they'd be questioned and
Be called a "witch" by proud old guys
And sharp tall staffs flayed in their skin

"You can pray 'til dead, back on the ground!"
"And let your tears fall all around me!"
"Offer up your best defense!"

The judges condemn...

"Witches be them!"

...but they're innocent...

O' beautiful, are Salem's skies
But now those skies are threatening
They're hanging women on the words
Of kids wired, bold, mad and secretly lying

Armchair Puritans often fail
And they've been poisoned by kids' fairy tales
The Elders be-lieved all details
Those kiddies madly lied

The gallow's the place where Salem goes
To wash away this sin
They'll sit and watch with proud cold eyes
Women fall, gasp, wave in the wind

"Just say your bed's where Satan's found!"
"Your devil-lair spell falls around thee!"
"Offer up your best defense!"

The judges condemn...

"Witches be them!"

...but they're innocent...

Joe McCarthy was aghast
Commies came so far, so fast
So somewhere back there in his lust
For fame, called down the free and just

We need to remember them
And maybe live free once again
So let us take a long last look
At Joe McCarthy's lies

"So is it true that you now are,
Mem-bers of the Com-mu-nist Par-ty?"
"Offer up your best defense!"

McCarthy condemns...

"Witches be them!"

...but they're innocent...

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Guy - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
But wasn't this really the end of the renaissance? Except that McCarthy came a bit late. Really great parody JD.
Johnny D - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Guy. "The End Of The Renaissance" ... I like it!
Paul Robinson - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Wonderful work, JD...tying together the Salem Witch Trials & Senator Joe McCarthy's scatter-shot 'Red Scare' publicity gambit with the same chorus lyrics. Did it so well you didn't miss a beat in making the transition forward. 5's...
John Barry - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I simply echo Paul's comments. Fine work.
Johnny D - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Paul and John.
joe - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Great parody. However, I thought Don Henley sang the original by himself.
Know 1 can hear you dream - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but I tossed this parody in the water, and it sank, so I guess it must be good. :-)
alvin rhodes - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
i liked the way you tied this all together....great job...5s...hate the original
Mari D - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
This parody rocks! Great fit, too -- OS and subject, McCarthey and Salem, on and on. Joe seemed to indicate that the performance is Henley's alone, but only because Henley sang on it and Hornsby did not. However, Hornsby was the pianist on the OS, therefore, they performed it together. They also wrote the OS together.
joe - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
That's right; I know that; however, I think it's credited as being performed by Henley only. I know that Hornsy does the piano.
Johnny D - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks everybody!

joe: Mari D explained why I credited the OS to both Henley and Hornsby. I know Henley gets the lion share of the credit for "The End Of The Innocence", but I love good rock piano, and Hornsby's piano work on "The End Of The Innocence" is so beautiful and moving that I wanted people to know about him, too. Besides, I once saw Bruce Hornsby perform with The Grateful Dead at the old Boston Garden...just a nostalgic non-sequitur!

K1chyd: You reminded me of the witch-test scene from Monty Python And The Holy Grail!

Alvin: I like the music of the original myself, especially Bruce Hornsby's piano work. The lyrics of the original? Ehh, I can take 'em or leave 'em, they're nothing great.

Mari D: Your comment rocks!! Thanks for the kind words, and thanks for the explanation about Hornsby's contribution to the OS.
Johnny D - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Hmm, I should have said "Henley gets the lion's share", not "lion share". Oh well.
Larry - August 22, 2004 - Report this comment
I saw Bruce Hornsby in concert one time, most of what he sang was a bunch of stuff I don't know. Anyway, this parody was great.
Johnny D - August 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Larry, thank you, very much! As for Bruce Hornsby singing stuff that folks don't know, well.....that's just the way it is....some things will never change....that's the just the way it is.... ;-D
Ashkicksass - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
I echo Mari's comments - this IS a great fit. Very moving, Johnny.
Johnny D - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Ashkicksass.

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