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Song Parodies -> "A Shart on the Shatter"

Original Song Title:

"The Heart of the Matter"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Don Henley

Parody Song Title:

"A Shart on the Shatter"

Parody Written by:

Mike Armstrong

The Lyrics

Ah the trials of public pooing
I got the urge today that I never wanna feel
But I knew that it was real
An oh too friendly feelin' racing through the bow'ls
My last great taco meal
So I raced into the bathroom, and the struggle soon commenced
In a public stall, a crowded mall
Kept hearing voices, outside my fortress door
Cause me miles of embarrassment just hold a LITTLE MORE

And I'm straining to keep the noise in now but it's comin like whoa!
And the more I fight, the more the pressure builds
All these nachos cause an urge, just a shart fulfills
I been tryin' to hold in to a shart on the shatter
But my sphincter's weak, and I'm wanting to splatter but I'm thinking about
My neighbor, his senses
Cause I could, I just might, blow myself right out the door

Ah self-control's so uncertain, there's a def'nite exit line
Colon's filled with poo
I just think about my stall neighbor, how can he get through
This foul digestive brew
So I rip the toilet paper, prepare my fleet escape
Just in case he passes out from gas
Digestive composition, that fills up this empty bowl
Is just begging to be seeped out, in just a massive poop patrol

And I'm straining to keep the noise in now but it's comin like whoa!
And the more I fight, the more the pressure builds
All these nachos cause a rooted itch, only a shart fulfills
I been tryin' to hold in to a shart on the shatter
But now things are changin', and I'm STARTING to splatter but I'm thinking about
My neighbor, his senses
Cause I could, I just might, blow myself right out the door

There are moments in your life that come and go
They shatter heart, man they can kill your pride
I better prepare for departure man, cuz here it comes!
There's simply no more denying, this amount that's stuck inside so I

I just let go and gave in to a shart on the shatter
And the stall doors shake, at the sound of the splatter and I'm thinking about
My neighbor, his senses
Swipe the wipe, zip the pants, fly myself right
I just let go and gave in to a shart on the shatter
And my neighbor just swore, and I'm scrambling to scatter and I'm cleaning up now
The cheap soap, the dryer
And I fly, High and dry right on through the

My neighbor
His Senses (Poopay!!!)
A Wipe Swipe (Ohhhhhh no)
A Pants Zip (*urgent grunt*)
The cheap soap (*toilet flush*)
The Dryer

And I fly right on through the open door

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 2
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 1
 
 5   15
 14
 14
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Loosekanen (The Armstrong) - February 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Ahh... the 1,1,1 man. How I have missed thee. :-)
MrMacphisto - February 15, 2005 - Report this comment
LMAO!!!
Michael Pacholek - February 15, 2005 - Report this comment
For a moment, I thought it said, "The Heart of the Shatner." Boy, was I disappointed! Oh well, maybe that'll give Chris Bodily an idea.
Phil Nelson - February 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Whoa, funny! Made me laugh out loud. Reminds me of the crude parodies I used to write. 5's
Guy - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-A) Pure poo-etry. This should puut you on the top of the sharts. Grossly wholesome.
Melhi - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Nothing *A*nal retentive about this one!
Adagio - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS, but it reads very funny...5's
Johnny D - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) That's some good sh*t!
EmiLoca - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS but a truly moving read. Gut-wrenching piece of work.
Agrimorfee - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05)Poopie Longstocking should enjoy this one!
Kristof Robertson - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS, Mike, but "shart"....that's a new one! :-)
Stuart McArthur - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(abc) relentless on the detail, Mike - DKTOS, although I probably do, but can't place it
Charlie Decker - March 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Gross...555 anyway
MysteryGoat - March 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS
Phil Alexander - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
There seem to be a lot of DKTOSs this time around... or should that be a shitload of 'em?
martha - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment
a truly explosive and revealing little ditty.... a classic addition the Amiright digestive tract collection...
Steve Parsons - August 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Gross! You are dirty men

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