Song Parodies -> Beating Up The Wife
| Original Song Title: | "9 To 5" |
| Original Performer: | Dolly Parton |
| Parody Song Title: | "Beating Up The Wife" |
| Parody Written by: | Cait Sith |
Thumpin' on her head 'til it needs a little stitchin'
Watching her step until she starts flinchin'
Morning, wench, it's time you broke your spine
Pushed her down the stairs with great loud thuds an'
Out on the street, the folks are all knowin'
'Bout guys like me who thrive on beating up the wife
Beating up the wife
What a way to treat your women
Tannin' her behind
Make her feel like she's in prison
There's no compromise
But she'll never seek the sheriff
I'll be up the drive
To beat her stinkin' head in
Rough inside
She's a wreck with her emotions
People think that I
Must have slipped her some old potion
She will lose her head
If she tattles or betrays me
I swear sometimes at her when I get angry
I throw antiques just to watch them shatter
If it's not the wall, then I throw 'em right at her
With cuts and screams that never fade away
She wobbles as I gloat like a rubbery band
Uses her sleeves to cover her hands
As she hides all the burns and scars I gave her today
Beating up the wife
What a way to treat your women
Tannin' her behind
Make her feel like she's in prison
There's no compromise
But she'll never seek the sheriff
I'll be up the drive
To bash her stinkin' head in
Right in sight
Yes, I've got you where I want you
You can beg and cry
But you know that I'll still haunt you
It's a sick man's shame
That he married what he's taunted
Now she'll spend her nights wishing that she hadn't done it
Watching her step until she starts flinchin'
Morning, wench, it's time you broke your spine
Pushed her down the stairs with great loud thuds an'
Out on the street, the folks are all knowin'
'Bout guys like me who thrive on beating up the wife
Beating up the wife
What a way to treat your women
Tannin' her behind
Make her feel like she's in prison
There's no compromise
But she'll never seek the sheriff
I'll be up the drive
To beat her stinkin' head in
Rough inside
She's a wreck with her emotions
People think that I
Must have slipped her some old potion
She will lose her head
If she tattles or betrays me
I swear sometimes at her when I get angry
I throw antiques just to watch them shatter
If it's not the wall, then I throw 'em right at her
With cuts and screams that never fade away
She wobbles as I gloat like a rubbery band
Uses her sleeves to cover her hands
As she hides all the burns and scars I gave her today
Beating up the wife
What a way to treat your women
Tannin' her behind
Make her feel like she's in prison
There's no compromise
But she'll never seek the sheriff
I'll be up the drive
To bash her stinkin' head in
Right in sight
Yes, I've got you where I want you
You can beg and cry
But you know that I'll still haunt you
It's a sick man's shame
That he married what he's taunted
Now she'll spend her nights wishing that she hadn't done it
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 1 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 5 | 4 | 2 | 5 |
User Comments Follow...
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
oof-ah. This ought to get them riled up. What's the old joke, "what do you tell a woman with two black eyes..."
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! YOU ARE AN UGLY, STUPID SICKO!!!!! I AM SENDING YOU TO DETENTION WITH THREE 1'S!
Jiminy Crickets. that is sooooo wrong.
Ok, so I guess I chose a distressing subject, and I for one do not endorse domestic abuse, but...at the end of the day, it's a parody! lighten up...if it was that bad, it wouldn't have been approved
I like it :) It's a commonly shunned subject and rather than mocking it or promoting it it's actually showing, in a way, how we as a society consider things like this. It's all swept under the rug and forgotten. As i said. I like it :)
I just can't give it a 5 for "funny" - sorry - but it's a well-written parody nonetheless. Even better, it's not the most disturbing thing posted to the site today.
There is way to treat this type of material that brings cheers, instead of shock, In the last part of the parody, you turn the victim into the hero by having her perform a Lorena Bobbit-ectomy....and write it from the third person, not the first person. It makes it seem less real, and less personal.
Hey Cait...the only criteria for removal of a parody for its content is if it talks directly about sex or personally attacks another Amiright author. Yours doesn't fall into those criteria, obviously, but that still doesn't make it enjoyable for everyone. But enough from me, freedom of expression and all that. Peace.
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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