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Song Parodies -> "Nuked 'Em"

Original Song Title:

"Whip It"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Devo

Parody Song Title:

"Nuked 'Em"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

"Enola Gay" and "Bock's Car" B-29s use atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki in Aug 1945...
Broke their grip
Remembered Pearl ships
And their attack
Yeah, hit the Japs back

When Hiroshima target's ON (US did nuke it)
Then Nagasaki comes along (US did nuke it)
Kyoto, a third bomb* (US shoulda nuked it)

We nuked 'em
Mushroom shapes
Fired 'em up
Made Black Rain**
Made 'em pay
A-warheads
Manhatten Project
It was Jap's fate
We nuked 'em
Burnt their wood***

Pacific war turn-around (Got bombs and used 'em)
Burned Jap cities to the ground (Chose to nuke 'em)
Two cities in 3 days (A-bombs were proven)

Yes, we nuked 'em
Nuked 'em good
Right to nuke 'em
Was understood
We had to nuke 'em
Broke their grip
Remembered Pearl ships
And their attack
Yeah, hit the Japs back

When Hiroshima target's ON (US did nuke it)
Then Nagasaki came along (US did nuke it)
Kyoto, a third bomb (US shoulda nuked it)

We nuked 'em
Mushroom shapes
Fired 'em up
Made Black Rain
Made 'em pay
A-warheads
Manhatten Project
It was Jap's fate
We nuked 'em

Mushroom shapes
Fired 'em up
Made Black Rain
Made 'em pay
A-warheads
Manhatten Project
It was Jap's fate
We nuked 'em
Burnt their wood
Ultimate revenge for Pearl Harbor

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   2
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 3   0
 1
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 4   1
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 5   16
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User Comments

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Mike J - October 06, 2014 - Report this comment
Diction, man. "Whip it' cracks out fast and hard, "nuked 'em" doesn't. The easy change to 'nuke 'em' would have been an improvement. And the idea of nuking Kyoto? Cringe!
Rpb Arndt - October 06, 2014 - Report this comment
Mike, go back and read history on the A-bomb target list. Kyoto was target #1 well into 1945 as listed by the Targeting Committee. It was removed by Secretary of War Stimson because it was Japan's old imperial capital amd cultural center... he had honeymooned there with his wife. Btw, Nagasaki was NOT the primary target on Aug. 9, 1945. It was Kokura which had been overcast. The third US aromic bomb core was ready for shipment to Tinian, but Truman halted it. It was codenamed Red Sunset and was slated to drop by Aug 22, 1945 on Kokura. FYI
Mike J - October 06, 2014 - Report this comment
Didn't say it wasn't historical. Just said I cringed, Kyoto being full of beautiful temples and stuff. I guess I'd have liked the song better if it had been about a current enemy, like ISIS. In their case, t's not too lake to nuke 'em good, heh heh.
Rob Arndt - October 06, 2014 - Report this comment
Yeah, I used too many syllables in the pre-chorus which slowed it down. I even forgot to post my footnotes!!! Here they are: * third bomb core halted Aug 11, 1945. Was destined for Kokura Arsenal between Aug 18-22. ** Black rain caused by ash in atmosphere from the bombings. *** Most buildings in Hiroshima and Nagasaki were made of wood and thus were consumed by the fire
X - October 06, 2014 - Report this comment
This is not a parody, regardless of how many self-justifying definitions of the genre you invent. This is mere word substitution, and badly done at that.

Besides Kyoto, what other densely populated cities should have been nuked and should now be nuked?
Rob Arndt - October 06, 2014 - Report this comment
Thank you for your opinion X. Anyway, historically the Targeting Committee chose 4 initial targets: Kyoto, Hiroshima, Yokohama, and Kokura Arsenal. Tokyo was off the list b/c although the Emperor lived there- it was of no strategic value and they didn't want another Dresden disaster with world opinion. Tokyo also needed to serve as admin center post-victory. So Hiroshima was hit and then Nagasaki as secondary b/c Kokura was overcast. The weather actually played the most critical part in actual bombings instead of the target priorities. Flak and fighter opposition as well. As for the third bomb target list, additional cities were added: Sapporo, Hakodate, Oyabu, Yokosuka, Osaka, and Nagoya. And amazingly, a story has circulated that there was anactual third bomb assembled and sent out on Aug 15, 1945 to bomb Sapporo but was recalled b/c the Japanese surrendered after Russia invaded Manchuria. That goes against the official history of the travel of the third core being halted on Aug 11, 1945 in California for travel to Tinian. It also does not add up of the A-bomb production count for 1945= 5 bombs total (Trinity test, Hiroshima, Nagasaki, + 2 more bombs by December 1945). I find it fascinating that the official histories of the German and Japanese A-bombs have been deliberately falsified by the US as well as Britain and Canada's works. Britain gave the US its A-bomb research documents in 1940 under TUBE ALLOYS and 44 scientists b/c they lacked the funds to pay for the bomb project and Germany was threatening to invade. Germany got an impure moderator so went with heavy water initially and failed... but the SS under Kammler started a second crash program in late 1944 with I.G. Farben, AEG, Siemens, etc... to build cyclotrons, gaseous and EM Wave separation centrifuges, and codenamed their program as BLACK PLAGUE. Two types of bombs were targeted fro production; one, a huge 40 ton GROSSE bomb and a small tactical mini-nuke of 880 kg to be used by a Bf 109 fighter in theater. They got as far as testing the small one in the Baltic in Jan 1945 and converted 12 Bf 109s over to carry it. The Luftwaffe by March 1945 came to collect the first bomb and were turned away by the SS, whatever made had been moved. Another test occured that same month in Thuringia. But no one can pin down through FOIA what actually happened. In Japan, there was a research effort in Tokyo while the main program for an offensive weapon was in occupied Korea. Their project was Genzai Bakudan and some claim that a test bomb was remote detonated in the Pacific on an island on Aug 12, 1945. The facility had to be evacuated, however, as Russia invaded. Likewise, very little info survives. And Canada did research too as it was providing uranium for the US Manhatten Project. The Italians did not have an A-bomb project but did research on fuel-air explosives and a giant incendiary device called "Iron Hades" which while dropped would eject hundreds of sub-unit incendiary balls that would exploded all over a city and engulf it in flame. The SM.95 bomber version was to be the aircraft to carry it. Only 2 aircraft were built by 1943 to carry out the mission and no bomb. The SM.95 was to make a propaganda leaflet run on NYC but the surrender ended that!!!
Mike J - October 06, 2014 - Report this comment
Apologies if I was flaming a bit there. Site error, noted.
Rob Arndt - February 11, 2017 - Report this comment
Although I sometimes write on the PTO, it's not my favorite theater of war ;-)
Trader Moe - February 11, 2017 - Report this comment
If the Pacific Theatre of war is not your favorite, then the European Theatre must be your fave. I specialize in murder, and strangulation is by far my favorite. Boiling in oil is a distant second. I'll trade you some of my snuff films for your collection of exploded civilian body parts.
Callmelennie - February 12, 2017 - Report this comment
My favorite theater of war is Super Saver Cinema on "$1 Dollar Tuesday" That's where me and my new girlfriend went to see "Fury" after I took her to Subway for the $1.99 Meatball Sub special. She was so impressed afterwards she whispered into my ear, "That was the best first date EVER! Let's get back to my penthouse apartment ASAP for a night of passionate intercourse!"
CML - February 12, 2017 - Report this comment
BTW, I am not trying to insinuate or cast aspersions on anyone with that previous remark. I am basically illustrating what would be the worst idea ever for a first date, an idea that would consign you to the "creep zone" for all eternity ........ Although, just as a joke, I actually did suggest this to a lady friend as an idea for a first date, and she giggled, "You're so preciously ironic, Lennie. Get thee hence to my bedchamber so that we may engage in a coital coupling."
Lewis - February 13, 2017 - Report this comment
Hey Lennie, you take that back! I met my girlfriend at Dollar Tree fighting over a potato peeler and then I took her to Wienerschnitzel for a handful of mustard dogs. We made out to Smurfs 2 in my apartment. The next week she did her laundry over here and we used her EBT card to buy a German chocolate cake and milk. I call this a fairytale romance. I think this week were up for miniature golf on a coupon. We'll use her car because she stole her grandma's placard. Parking up front is a real luxury. Life doesn't get any better than this!
Callmelennie - February 13, 2017 - Report this comment
But you're missing the second element of my notionally awful first date, Lewis. Taking your lady friend to a relentlessly grim, ultraviolent, blood and guts war movie in the cheapest theater in town. That's what puts my notional first date on par with what Travis Bickle ("Taxi Driver") did with Cybill Shepherd on their first date, which was go the seediest porn theatre in Times Square to catch the show

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