Constipation
pa-a-a-in
Here on the pot
With my guts in a knot
Taking the strain

Irritation
Of the bo-o-owel
Laxitives failing
My voice is a wailing
Ho-o-owl

I seek release from it
Please just a little bit
I can't take much more
One little movement
Would be an improvement
My ring is so sore

Invitations
Mi-i-ssed
Sadly I sit here
I can't even shit
While my friends all get pissed

Aggrivation
Pe-e-eaks
Red faced and heaving
I've lost all the feeling
In my bum cheeks

Finally shifting
The tension is lifting
I'm finally free
That can't be right
The malodorous shite
Is the size of a pea