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Song Parodies -> "My Beard"

Original Song Title:

"My Girl"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Chilliwack

Parody Song Title:

"My Beard"

Parody Written by:

Porfle Popnecker

The Lyrics

Grown, grown, grown, my beard's grown so long
My beard's grown grown grown so long
Grown, grown, grown, my beard's grown so long
My beard's grown grown grown so long
Grown, grown, grown, my beard's grown so long
G-G-Grown, grown, grown so long

Grown, grown, grown, my beard's grown so long
Wonder if I'm ever gonna see my chin
Grown, grown, grown, my beard's grown so long
Wonder if I'm ever gonna see my chin

Entered adolescence
I surely paid my dues
A middle school alteration
I can't fit into my Underoos

Hanging out of my pants seat
Rippin' out another rear
Scannin' the crowd
As they gawk at the weirdo
Squawkin' about my beard

My beard, it has unfurled on me
It's gone the way of shrubbery
My beard is such an oddity
A chin so long unshaved

Grown, grown, grown, my beard's grown so long
My beard's grown grown grown so long
Grown, grown, grown, my beard's grown so long
My beard's grown grown grown so long
Grown, grown, grown, my beard's grown so long
My beard's grown, grown, grown so long

I never had to shave it
I never needed foam
I never had a facial growth
Resembling a gnome

Although it may take all night
Got to get it sheared
My chest has disappeared beneath
Disappeared beneath my beard

My beard's begun to burden me
It's long, and that's a certainty
My beard is an anomaly
A chin so ill-behaved

[guitar solo]

Grown, grown, grown, my beard's grown so long
My beard's grown grown grown so long
Grown, grown, grown, my beard's grown so long
My beard's grown grown grown so long
Grown, grown, grown, my beard's grown so long
G-G-grown, grown, grown so long
Grown, grown, grown, my beard's grown so long
Wonder if I'm ever gonna see my chin
Grown, grown, grown, my beard's grown so long
Wonder if I'm ever gonna see my chin

Well, I know it looks impressive
Got me on the morning show
But my back is out, my mind's a whirl
Got a cello growing out my nose

Sproutin' fur like an apeman
Spreadin' till it's something feared
Sooner or later, I'll take a weedy-whacker
Hack it into this beard
My beard...

My beard, my beard, my beard (fade)

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   1
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 5   12
 12
 13
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - August 10, 2012 - Report this comment
Nice-555!!! Although I shave twice a day, I have never had a beard nor mustache in my life. I hate facial hair and body hair but miss my long blonde hair of youth. What hair I have left now has turned from blonde to brown to salt & pepper!!! Heredity is a Bit*ch...
Porfle Popnecker - August 10, 2012 - Report this comment
I've never shaved or gotten a haircut except when I had to. Unfortunately, I've had to quite often. I think I have that phobia, whatever it's called.
Brock O'Brahma - August 10, 2012 - Report this comment
My favorite Beard is Amanda. Hubba, Hubba!
Porfle Popnecker - August 10, 2012 - Report this comment
Here's a good picture of her for you: http://b4tea.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/amanda-beard-playboy.jpg
Brock O'Brahma - August 10, 2012 - Report this comment
LOL ! Good one :)
Rob Arndt - August 10, 2012 - Report this comment
A better pic of Amanda Beard: http://prensacorazon.com/wp-content/uploads/4674647815de5.jpg
Porfle Popnecker - August 10, 2012 - Report this comment
Yikes, it looks like Playboy is still airbrushing the crap out of their photos!
Tommy Turtle - August 10, 2012 - Report this comment
Don't know if you're truly interested in elevating the quality of your work, but when this noob was initiated 6 1/2 years ago, it was made plain that we were expected to vary the choruses of our parodies, even if they merely repeated in the original. ... And that was on my fifth day and 16th song post, not at 400+. ;)
  Don't think of this as a criticism or a burden; think of it as an opportunity to give us more laughs and to showcase further your wit and creativity.
  Abstaining from voting, since apparently no one's mentioned this, or no one adheres anymore. Not here much myself any more, so if there's a reply, alert me at one of mine -- I do check my own "latest comments" page occasionally. Cheers.
Porfle Popnecker - August 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comment! I usually do try to vary my choruses, and thought about doing it here, but in some cases I think it sounds awkward/arbitrary/affected. Or simply makes the chorus less fun to sing if its main appeal is as a repetitious chant. But your advice is well taken.
AFW - August 11, 2012 - Report this comment
A parody like this can grow on ya'
Meriadoc - August 11, 2012 - Report this comment
You could join the Amish...

As an aside - I was was looking at the artist - Chilliwack, and thinking that you're either Canadian or you're my cousin Randy (not Travis) in disguise. But then I dl'd the song and realized that I've actually heard it before...
Porfle Popnecker - August 11, 2012 - Report this comment
AFW--I haired that! Meriadoc--yeah it was big on MTV back in the 80s.
Rob Arndt - August 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Porfle, thanks for the artist info- I never heard of them before, but decided to use this song for my own parody. I hope it works b/c I am operating off the lyrics alone...(?!?)
Porfle Popnecker - August 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Rob--hope you get a chance to listen to the video because it's a pretty awesome song.
Tommy Turtle - August 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Just off the top of the head, and as examples only,

"Groan, groan, groan" would make a wonderful variation, being homophonic (and no, that has nothing to do with Chik-Fil-A ;). From there, "moan"x3, "I bemoan", etc.

    For the last part of that line,
"My beard: down to schlong"
"My beard hits chic's thong"

and a bunch of other such. Don't be afraid to go to rhymezone.com as needed, although it'll happen in one's head if practiced regularly.

I have to agree with you when:
1) The original chorus is a *very* major part of the song, as is "Oh wimowheh" in "The Lion Sleeps Tonight", and
2) Your sub is unusually catchy, clever, and reinforcing of the theme of the parody (not my words; others' comments), as in parody of "Lion Sleeps:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thetokens15.shtml

Four commenters expressly cited the sub for "wimoweh", which was repeated 16 times over 8 lines. Cheers!
Porfle Popnecker - August 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Interesting comments, thanks!
WarrenB - August 12, 2012 - Report this comment
I have to give you points for simply pulling this elderly tune back from the 80s and making it into a hair raising tale. I have this in my 45s collection, and if I remember correctly, it was on the Boardwalk Records label.
Porfle Popnecker - August 12, 2012 - Report this comment
I never had the record, but remember it only from the MTV video where the band members were standing around lighting matches for some reason.

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