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Song Parodies -> "Decision 1896"

Original Song Title:

"Making Your Mind Up"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bucks Fizz

Parody Song Title:

"Decision 1896"

Parody Written by:

Edward Genereux

The Lyrics

Here begins a new ambitious endeavour: chronicling US presidential elections from 1896 to the present. I chose 1896 as the cutoff because that was the year that campaigning became more modernized, with William Jennings Bryan crossing the country in an ultimately unsuccessful effort to secure what would have been the ultimate Populist triumph. The debate in economic affairs in those days revolved around whether to put America on the gold standard or make silver the standard precious metal. In the end, the Democrats were divided enough for many to go over to Republican William McKinley, thereby giving him the win. Note that for this project (and I encourage my fellow Amirighters to join in), I am using one song to parody, such as has been done with The Major-General's Song or I Put a Spell on You. That one song won the 1981 Eurovision Song Contest for Britain--Bucks Fizz's "Making Your Mind Up." No skirts were ripped off in the making of this parody, my 99th and second of a Eurovision winner but first of the Fizz.
You gotta make it gold,
Or is it silver you prefer?
So asked Democrats at the Chi-Town convention
'Til Bryan they did hear.
He did make a stand at the pulpit
And they did make their minds up.

"You shall not crucify
The worker on a cross of gold!"
So ended his speech and they gave him the big nod
'Cos everyone was sold
On Bryan's plans for silver evermore
In making their minds up.

But William McKinley
Stood in Bryan's way,
Campaigning from his front porch;
Money came to him to stay.

So Bryan had no other choice
But to take it all on the road
Making fans throughout the Midwest and the South
To help him with the load.
But the Gold Bugs (1) would not give him hugs;
They had made their minds up.

For every dollar Dems had raised,
The GOP had sevenfold
From big business and big farms throughout Northern states
'Cos those folks loved their gold.
They'd surely prevail--Populists would fail;
They made not their minds up.

Two days after All Hallows (2)
America did go
To her ballot boxes;
Before long, she'd surely know.

You see, just when the dust had settled down,
The gold folks surely had prevailed.
Adding insult to injury for Silverites, (3)
Prospectors quickly hailed
Gold rushes up north (to the Yukon, forth!)
That made miners' minds up.

And so the Populists did fade,
As economic boomtimes came;
But it was far from even when the people got
To play the wealthy's game.
It didn't quite reach 'yond the private beach
Though they'd made their minds up. (last line 4x)
Footnotes: (1) Democrats who favoured the gold standard. (2) 3 November 1896. (3) Leaders who favoured the silver standard.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Patrick - July 17, 2012 - Report this comment
I'll be watching for "Decision '76". That was the Republican convention held in Kansas City that nominated Gerald Ford. Right after that Ronald Reagan made a gracious concession speech and all the delegates suddenly realized they had nominated the wrong man. "Decision '76" was the NBC musical theme for election coverage. Henry Mancini composer. One of the greatest instrumentals of all time.
Hu's On First - July 17, 2012 - Report this comment
The goldbugs and silverites are both wrong...we should have a RHODIUM standard!
Meriadoc - July 17, 2012 - Report this comment
I LOVE this kinda stuff. I was only slightly familiar with the subject, but did know about Bryant's Cross of Gold speech. Wasn't familiar with the OS at all, but downloaded a copy. Great job, interesting project, will be looking forward to more!

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