I came home last evening
I had a plan, I had it all worked out
Plopped on the couch believing
I'd watch tv with the guys, and be loud

Then I saw you in the hall
You had your arms crossed and a big frown
What did I do, babe--She told me
She told me "The toilet seat ain't down"

"You're taking me for granted
You're living like a hog
Now go and walk the dog!"

Now she nags like a wife
And it really bites
She nags like a wife
Thinks she's always right

"I'm tired of you slackin
Not picking up your clothes anymore
Take off your shoes darlin
Can't you see you're tracking mud on the floor?"

"Now babe I'm going shopping
Behave while I'm gone
And make sure you mow the lawn"

Now she nags like a wife
And it really bites
She nags like a wife
Thinks she's always right