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Song Parodies -> "I'm Archived"

Original Song Title:

"I'm On Fire"

Original Performer:

Bruce Springsteen

Parody Song Title:

"I'm Archived"

Parody Written by:

Jeff Reuben

The Lyrics

Turned on my Mac for some web date fun
Hit on fifty-eight girls, but heard back from none
It's been a real hard drive
Oh-oh-oh I'm archived

I promise, baby, to be good to you
But you like tall guys, and I'm 4 foot 2
Wish I could grow higher
Oh-oh-oh I'm archived

Well now, I'm not funny, don't work out, won't cook
or clean up scum--live in a one-bed unit
With my pet snail and my mum

But finally a girl who says she'll date me
She's got twelve kids, shingles, body
Odor, warts, and fleas
And her face, took a look and cried
Oh-oh-oh she's archived
Oh-oh-oh she's archived
Oh-oh-oh she's archived

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   17

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

littleCupCakes - May 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Ohh. . . . . the ~ArchivedAngel~ is back!! love it Sir Jeff. Still have that apron, dude??
Stephen Harrington - May 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Whoa, archived 5s for you.
AFW - May 30, 2008 - Report this comment
These arefives for archives
Jeff Reuben - May 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks littleCupCakes, Stephen, and AFW...and of course I have my apron :)
Below Average Dave - May 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Punny as usual! I actually started laughing on the second line, always a good sign. . .I wish this song were longer, your stuff is always so well written, puns and all, I can't wait till that weekend in June, it's gonna be a blast.
Peter Andersson - May 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Too short, but good.
Agrimorfee - June 09, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I hate to say it Jeff, but this was not a 555 worthy parody for my eyes and ears. It's ok that you changed the OS rhyme from "-ire" to "ive/-ived", but you should have kept it in the 2nd verse, too. The bridge was really clunky to read through against Bruce's vocal--I really tried to follow it, but...I've seen better from you. Better luck next time.
Below Average Dave - June 09, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I still think this was good for the length of the song buddy--admit that I'm a bit surprised that it was an SOTM entry for you though. Has to be the least amount of lyrics to any parody I've read by you in contests.
Jason - June 10, 2008 - Report this comment
(S.O.T.M.) I can't see anything wrong here. Pretty good.
Matthias - June 10, 2008 - Report this comment
I wasn't too bothered by the rhymes here except for the fact that "higher" and "archived" don't rhyme, what I was bothered by here was the fact that this has to be one of the shortest songs I've read, and it wasn't for Jason's Bees it would be the shortest song that I've ever read in SOTM, but it was still hilarious and very well written.
Jeff Reuben - June 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comments. For the "higher/archived" "rhyme", I chose to keep the "higher" line similar to the OS. Unfortunately, that broke the rhyme scheme and in retrospect was not a good decision. For the bridge, I thought (and still think) that fit pretty well, I can sing that in my head pretty easily. Unfortunately, Agri...I'm assuming your mind reading skills are on the fritz this week, so you can't hear what's in my head? Oh well :) Definitely motivation to record so the song can be heard as I intended. As for the length, nothing I can do about that, it was just a short song, and the only one I submitted for May. My goal was to get feedback, so while I was sure this wasn't a "medal" song, I appreciate the comments and votes, and look forward to doing the same for your songs.
Gianni Parmesiani - June 12, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I went to the youtube video to follow along, and i agree with Agrimorfee about the pacing and the rhyme; it was a bit "clunky".
Max Power - June 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Red Ant - June 27, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I never liked TOS: it sounds like a pedo's anthem ("Hey little girl is your daddy home... whoa-oh-oh pedophile"). But that's good for you because you've drastically improved on the original. I didn't have problems pacing this, and the rhymes worked for me (formatting the bridge so that "scum" and "mum" lined up might have made it easier to follow).

A recording would be great; semi crying out the outro wails would be a nice touch as well. 555
Guy - June 28, 2008 - Report this comment

If we didn't have archives what would become of our feather dusters? How would be dust off the dusty old archives? Bit jerky in the pace and some rhymes didn't quite fit but I do this sort of thing with Rhyme all the time and I see no problem here, it works fine and OS writers do the same thing. Still a fine write - dispite.
bobpiecheese - June 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Interesting idea, but a tad short.
Peregrin - June 30, 2008 - Report this comment
I liked this. And I found Ant's opening comments amusing too!
Phil Alexander - June 30, 2008 - Report this comment
You could follow up with a "Please Delete Me" parody... give us the next installment in this sordid little tale :-)
Invisible Boy - June 30, 2008 - Report this comment one said it would be easy out in cyberspace.
The idea of you as a 4 foot 2 nerd living with your mum and a pet snail is pretty funny.
Now that I've met you I want to assure everyone here that it's not true. Jeff's at least 4 foot 5, and the pet was a gerbal...

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