I had a friend said he was a baseball player
For the Phoenix Suns
Said he scored 34 touchdowns
And hit 80 home runs, boy
Saw him the other night at his actual job
When I walked in he went running out
I called him up about it, said it wasn't him
But I couldn't hide my doubt.

(Chorus)
Story days
Yeah, they'll make 'em up
Story days
And you can't get 'em to shut up
Story days
Story days

Well there's a girl I see up the block
Yesterday caught someone else in her bed
And today when I came by and confronted her 'bout it
Wheels started turnin' in her head
"The postman Bobby, well he fell down
On my bed and I tried to help him
Tried to cool him down by takin' all his clothes off."
I said, "Yeah, you both were sweatin', breathin' heavy, sure was hot!"

(Chorus)

Think I'm going down to the bar tonight
I'm gonna fib 'till I get my fill
And I hope that I don't lie so much that nobody believes me
But I probably will
Just makin' up stories that'll make me
Feel like I'm better than you
But lies pile up, leave me so full of B.S. that
My blue eyes turn to brown.

(Chorus X 2)

Oh, bull crap!
Malarkey!
Oh, bull crap!
Shut up now!
Oh, bull crap!
Malarkey!
Oh, bull crap!
Shut up now!
Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo!
All right boys! Don't believe 'em now!
(Ad lib to end)