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Song Parodies -> "Scanning With No Heart"

Original Song Title:

"Dancing In The Dark"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bruce Springsteen

Parody Song Title:

"Scanning With No Heart"

Parody Written by:

Dave Calleja

The Lyrics

An ode to the frustration felt by customers who are stuck waiting in supermarket queues unarmed with a good book or Sukodu puzzle.
I make it through the turnstiles
and I get all my groceries
I look for the express lane
Check my basket for 12 items of less
I don't wanna be waiting
There's too many derelicts and drunks here
Hey Miss Check-out chick, open another aisle without fear

You can't clear the backlog
You can't get the shoppers to their car
This line ain't moving
'Cos she's just scanning with no heart

The pay rates get lower
Your motivation looks like a brick just laid
You'd rather be in Phuket
But we all do want to get home today
The guy in front stinks like garbage
Smells like he ain't washed since 1966
And behind me's a junkie
The eyes behind my head have just been nicked

You can't clear the backlog
You can't get the shoppers to their car
This line ain't moving
'Cos she's just scanning with no heart

You don't like my food choices
It's ok I am not cooking for you
How about you speak to me
Bodily noises just won't do

I should have stayed in the other lane
I would be home and fully relaxed
Now instead I am stuck here
'Cos the scanner can't read my Serepax
I'm ready to leave the basket
On the counter and make someone else pay
This is probably the last time
I'll buy food from Walmart at 3am today

You can't clear the backlog
If there isn't enough staff
This line ain't moving
'Cos she's just scanning with no heart
You can't clear the backlog
If a shopper can't move their shopping their cart
This line ain't moving
'Cos she's just scanning with no heart
'Cos she's just scanning with no heart
'Cos she's just scanning with no heart
'Cos she's just scanning with no heart
'Cos she's just scanning with no heart
Hey checkout chick

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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